More Than Thirteen Terrible Thoughts for Today

General idea stolen from Frustrated Writer. It's sloppy, but it's useful! Raise skunks, kick 'em in the guts, then box them up for transport in a horse-drawn carriage. I think I need to find some medicine to take for arthritis. My back feels terrible; soon I'll be all humped over! Maybe I'll take generic Tylenol until my next doctor's appointment. Pricks and Praises--where did THAT thought come from?! Laughing all the way to the tank. You can't beat that. Lots of people try, though. Don't bend me twice. I'm out of whack; how about you? Some of us were sincere. How come all Presidential candidates try to pretend there are no such words as piss, fuck, or shit? And then insist that they don't use them even if there are? How long are these pretenses going to go on in a world where we don't mind saying Kill all day long and depicting it all night? Some of you monkeys have gone Ape-shit, you know that? Are you lusty, are you slim, Are you sick yet of all this vigor and vim? half-formed lines of poetry that lay around waiting for me like stagnant pools of water... Hostess Camel Cupcake--what?! Where'd that idea come from? Who would pay for one, much less eat it! Is this more than thirteen? Jesus, that's all the thinking I can do! How does it get so late these days? What keeps my brain busy? Wait a minute! Ha. Why does this tiny box of Sun-Maid raisins seem to always have stems and other inedible bits in it? There's so many uneatable bits in my mouth when I've eaten the raisoins that I wonder how many other stems and bits I swallowed! I see that Sun-Maid bitch on the package is as cute as ever, even if her raisin quality now bites the big one like all this other name-brand shit. Modern love slurps. Another extra thought: if you want to see how bad things have gotten, think of something you used to enjoy using or that worked really well for you, then go out and buy a new one exactly like it. Either you won't be able to find one at all or you'll find it and it'll be of far lower quality--won't work as well, won't last as long!