Monday, December 11, 2006

Toilet Paper

Unreeling The Roll

Am I losing friction or is the universe (including toilet paper) gaining static electricity? I never used to have trouble with a roll of toilet paper, but these days there’s never a loose flap of paper that I can get hold of with any ease, it is always pulled back toward the roll and lays down flat and neat. Then my sad old stiff sore fingers are too dry to get purchase on the thin modern edge of the ostensibly loose toilet paper. Ha, what fun! Thank you very much, American manufacturing.


  1. I thought *all* men were toilet paper experts...

  2. I have no expertise, perhaps, but I have plenty of experience.

  3. It's all in the fingers! Yeah, I know---and ON THEM, as well! You DO KNOW what to do with the little "frizzy-edges" that are left at the end of the sheet, don't you? You use those to clean your nails out with! Buddy, when it comes to toilet paper, I know my shit! (I'll bet you don't know about the three-sea-shells either, do you?!!!)

  4. So I guess you've tried this then, eh, Bruno?


Abandon hope, all ye who enter here! (At least put on your socks and pants.)