Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Cheap Matches

Dogger Gatsby and Diamond-Brand Matches

Dogger Gatsby was strange, I admit. He once sent a letter to the American manufacturing concern who made the Diamond-brand box of matches, about the falling quality of the matches. This was back in the day when we all still smoked. The little wooden sticks were getting more infirm all the time, things like that. I think he wrote something like

“I would not intentionally buy your product except when forced to it.”

“All this,” he told me, “after they’ve continued to raise the goddamn fucking price over the years as if it was once again a Luxury item, well-made and hard to acquire. Bat-shit!”

Yeah, I guess so.


  1. Strange, yes, but a point well-made! Quality has went inferior on pretty much everything---now it's all faster, more of it, to hell with doing it right! All they want now is the numbers for the damned quotas! (See? I'm already feeling better, having said that!)

  2. Good! That you're feeling better.

    Of course, everything is not like that; one of the pluses of modern conveniences is that things are manufactured to closer tolerances and tighter specifications than they used to be and thus can be REALLY mass-produced! Win one, lose one; what sense does it all make? Hell if I know.

  3. Thank god for the illegals in the match factory (unless they're imported from China), or we'd be paying even more for the half assed crap we buy.

  4. Does this include cardboard matches? I could never learn how to light the damn things.

  5. I think the cardboard (penny?) matches are about as shoddy as they ever were! Hell, I don't smoke, so I seldom strike one, except to burn yard debris.


Abandon hope, all ye who enter here! (At least put on your socks and pants.)