Thick Of It

I’ve never exactly been tolerant or appreciative of fat women or of fat-women jokes. In fact, I’ve often observed to myself how foolish and empty-headed the Opera joke about “when the Fat Lady sings” is, how many decades it has held onto the population’s imagination. I can’t help it, I just dislike any sort of cliches or lame guff, even if it’s the traditional stuff.

At any rate, the Internet has been the beginning of the cure of me. So many of my best acquaintances have become fat women, but I figure that’s their business and I attempt not to make smart-aleck remarks. Of course, I’m not sure I can be commended, they’ve won me over with superior intelligence and grit out here In the Web World! They made me love them by being so terrific, whether they are fat or not, and in some cases I don’t really know. But it better Not matter! I won’t like myself if I can’t do better now than in my past. I can't guarantee that I'll be less of a prick. Of course, in my past I was a FAT MAN, so it’s peculiar that I felt free to notice. Men can’t be trusted, women know that, I’m afraid.

I’ve learned that you can’t trust nobody, thick or thin. I just have to accept the flow of things. It’s not the sort of thing that was ever my business, anyway! I used to be a monster, and sometimes it slips right out of me before I can get a leash on it! That’s a pitiful excuse, I guess, but it’s what I do. Now I'm thin and don't know how to act sometimes. If I didn’t forgive myself, how could You forgive me?

Well, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

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