Monday, September 18, 2006

Switch Just Flips!

What really happens when you surf all these blogs? I don't do as much as I used to. I peruse a smaller number at a time, but just as thoroughly. By that, I mean that I look at their Profiles and usually read several posts before I quit. Sometimes I realize that they're awful, sometimes that one of the blogs is perfectly charming. Blogs about new babies are charming, but I soon realize I need to get out of there! Somebody will decide I'm a pervert if they ever realize this Single Guy is stalking their baby blog! Some of the adult blogs that I thus canvas are also charming at first, then (with some) I realize they always stay at the same level, and I leave them alone, too. I feel friendly toward them, but not like I'd ever be much of a friend. Some blogs (especially the famous ones) make me feel very friendly, but I don't last long writing to people who already get thirty or more comments per post. That is a very good thing for the blogger, but it feels a little crowded to me! Sometimes I forget to make friends slowly, and that's not nice. Sometimes, I'm a hair's breadth away from being a fool or a stalker! But, when I realize it, I know that that shit's got to change! Sometimes, the blogger (usually women) realize it before I do, and I am then deeply chagrined.

You can't make things happen on blogs any more than you can in real life. I remember from the seventies that one new friend was speaking of a third party who was being too pushy and remarked that he already had enough friends. Stewart WAS talking about the other fellow (I knew him as well), but I realized that his remarks probably referred to me as well, since I was a new friend of his at the time. I lightened up after that, though in fact I lasted a while longer as his friend.

I usually encourage people on the Internet, since you can't tell what might happen. I might have fun, and so might you. If I have bad breath or don't bathe enough, you'll probably never suffer from it. If I stutter, you won't suffer. I can gross you out, though; I don't have to be there for that. I don't plan to do that, but sometimes a switch just flips inside of me and I become a monster. God protect us if I can't get control of myself. If I've never been mean to you, praise the Lord and pass the peanut butter! We'll pretend we're just little kids and make up!

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Abandon hope, all ye who enter here! (At least put on your socks and pants.)