Tuesday, September 12, 2006

How Things Work Out (Or Don't)

I can't get anything to work out. That's how it seems. For a fellow who'd like to have control of everything, I have control of very little.

I was just thinking of some of the Blogger newbies, the ones who are always asking how they can list every single post in their sidebar. I used to think like that, but it's too much trouble. I'm done with ways for you to read or be drawn to my old posts. I have the unexciting Archives with 900 posts, the Pretty Good Ones with 57 posts, the 10 Previous Posts, and lastly the Categories list if you wish to concentrate on any one subject--that seems like a heap to me, probably too much for any but my most excitable fans. Or most unbalanced fans, I am tempted to say. I don't write as glibly or as smoothly or as much at length as I used to. Did I use up all the good material? I used to have much old stuff that I could polish up and trot it out for The Rat Squeaks. Lately, I've relied on my own current sorry output and that's not good! I write about writing. Or I write about not writing. I don't just sit down and write about something! I think about Goddess or Cricket and wonder how they can have such output every day. They amaze me at times.

I'm getting to the point where I can't just sit here without tiring. My ass gets tired, of course, but it's also bad for my feet. Lack of moovement seems to make the neuropathy worse. My feet go more "to sleep" while I fiddle at the screen here. And my back begins to ache. These are all things I've tried to ignore or keep in perspective, but they really occupy (or define) a greater part of what is me than I wish it to be!

Things might get better. Or they might get worse. I frankly wish they would do one or the other. Soon, please.

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Abandon hope, all ye who enter here! (At least put on your socks and pants.)