Friday, March 26, 2004

I Am Not A Rat, It's Just A Blog Title, So Back Off!

Dear Lord, that computer program watching over my shoulder that I talked about the day before yesterday must be developing a demented sense of humor. Now the ads up above want me to wipe myself out. Yesterday afternoon in that space it suddenly said:

Rat Zappers $29.99 Incredible Prices Online Kills Rodents, Mice, Rats, Squirrels

Eliminate Rats & Mice We Own A Feed And Seed Store We Know How To Control Rodents

They’re coming after me. I panicked. What could I do? Who could I call? I copied it and pasted it here so that I’d have the proof later. Sure enough, within minutes I returned to my blog, but it had already changed to this innocent poodle:

Award Winning HostingFree Web Design Software, Web Stats Free Setup, 10 GB Data Transfer

iPowerWeb Blog HostingMySQL, CGI , PHP, Tons of Bandwidth Great For MT Weblogs - Affil.

Hell, where’d it go? I felt like I was back in elementary school and some freckled child had turned around and stuck its tongue out at me, then turned back toward the teacher with an angelic expression. What? What was that? What?! I’d like to stick two pencils in his ears from behind, but I’d never get away with it.

I’m being singled out, I can tell. Either that or I need a psychiatric exam. Is this Internet Paranoia, or one of those cases in whch even paranoids have enemies? Wait, dammit—I just realized they’ve got me doing their advertising now down here IN the blog! I think I’ll have to stop talking about this; I thought I was joking before, but Big Brother IS watching, and very closely. Shhh! A little quieter, please! Don’t tip it off that I’m here…maybe it’ll go away.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: A paranoid is someone who knows a little of what's going on. -- William S. Burroughs

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Abandon hope, all ye who enter here! (At least put on your socks and pants.)