Saturday, December 08, 2007

Windows And Doors

Hi, it's me! A pretty hard thing to do after all these decades!

Maybe we can grind some bones down to dust and store them in a nice new box with a tight lid. Better than those damn vases--it's too difficult to even pronounce "vase" correctly, don't you think? But what is correctly? I don't have to do it here...

Today I told myself I'd have to stop eating so many damn cookies because my pants are too tight. Really too tight. Today I got one of the few size 38's out of the closet and they fit, unfortunately. Those pants will make it more difficult to lose the few pounds I need to shed in order to fit size 36 again. I need to do this. You have to remember I was size 42 not so long ago and it makes me feel crazy the idea that I'd "grow" back into all my worn-out fat man's clothes! Don't let it happen! Send lawyers, guns, and money! No, not the money! I'd just buy sugar-free (but not calorie-free) cookies with it! Wait a minute! If somebody'd send even more money, maybe I could go buy new larger pants and just get more and more fat to fill them out! Civilization started deteriorating this way, I guess...

"Cancel my subscription to the Resurrection;
Send my credentials to the house of detention,
I got some friends inside..." the doors

More about The Doors later.


  1. I remember so much talk about you going skinny.

    I like a little meat on my man.

  2. Well, Mr. Size 36 Pants HAS a little meat on his bones, and any more just makes me not fit the pants! Actually some of them still fit, but I need to read the writing on the wall and stop eating seconds (or thirds and fourths, when it comes to cookies)!

  3. Cookies are my downfall, too! I.can.not.stop.

  4. If we were Bolsheviks, we'd ban cookies and kill the bakers and the farmers! That'd settle it! But, fortunately, Lenin and Stalin are dead!

  5. Dr. Debbie prescribes more hand jobs and fewer cookies. Even if you have to rely on Rosy Palm to fill the prescription.

  6. Were you not so distant, I'd hold you to that handjob! Meanwhile, back at the I-Love-Lucy ranch-house saloon, they find it pretty much dull conversation.

    Abandon hope, all ye who enter here!


Abandon hope, all ye who enter here! (At least put on your socks and pants.)