A Moody Post

Flowers And Warmth

Yesterday or the day before, I became aware of just how vivid the colors of the azaleas are already this year, despite the appearance of the weather. Not all things in the yard, but certainly the numerous azaleas, have been blooming deliciously. It seems wrong for the days to still to be so winterish—that is, overcast and cold, after the azaleas are so omnipresent! When I was forty, this weather would have only seemed "cool" to me, but in the last few years it's gotten to where any lingering winterish days just seem unbearably cold to me! It's bad circulation, I guess—I'm just not generating enough internal heat any more.

I notice that John, my 10-month old nephew, is often as warm to hold as a loaf of bread just extracted from a nice blanketed basket. I'd pick him up, though, even if he weren't such a great little hand-warmer! John, like the azaleas, will still be getting better-as-he-goes for a very long while yet. He doesn't know that or need to know it. He's learned to crawl and stand and walk and tumble, even to dance a little because it amuses him (and because it amuses us).

It amused me no end yesterday (and John, too) that he'd learned to point me out to others as he watched me through the full-view glass storm door at the back of the house. John's always beating on that door from inside as if he just knows that he can bust it down and get outside where the fun is. He has no idea how much more complicated than that all these things are. I, on the other hand, already know what I'd prefer not to know and feel what I'd prefer not to feel.

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