Wednesday, October 27, 2004

Liver Spots

Signs Of Ageing, Signs Of Living

Getting gray hair or no hair, crow's feet under the eyes or those fine-line chicken scratches everywhere are one kind of thing, but liver spots, I think, may be worse. I remember when they weren't there at all—speaking frankly, that was preferable. Depending on how the light hits them, they are at the least unattractive. Dim light will sometimes do the trick, but total darkness works even better. People talk ridiculous and braggish crap sometimes about how they "earned every one of those wrinkles" in their faces, but I never heard any of them bragging about how happy they are to have their damn liver spots! I mean, let's face it, it looks like you've got something!

Unless you spend too much time in front of the mirror, you don't much see or dwell on your gray or thinning hair or on your new facial wrinkles. You can look away and forget them, pretend they're not there. But liver spots are not only there "for all to see", but are right at hand (so to speak) for you yourself to see. Unless you don't look at your handiwork and at the hands you're doing it with, you see your own liver spots a substantial amount of the time. The worst drawback of all to handling everything for yourself and not hiring it done, you see your own uglifying hands. Unless you spend all day wearing chemical protection gloves (like I used to do) or scratching your ass, which a multitude among us cannot refrain from doing.

In those cases it's advisable to keep your hands some distance from your face and to wash your hands immediately upon removal of the gloves or cessation of the scratching—just as a precaution.

Take this as sage advice. I don't think you'd die from exposure to your own posterior, but when it comes to chemicals, who knows what might fall off or shrivel up or if you might develop a bright red scrotal sore or rectal rash due to overexposure to chemicals. Remember all the good advice your mother gave you. "Don't get any on you, you don't know where it's been!" and "Don't touch that, you might go blind!"

Have I gotten far enough off the track yet to be certifiable? I think I have. Better stop.
"Liver spots are extremely common after 40 years old. They occur most often on the backs of the hands, on the forearms, shoulder, face, and forehead. These are the areas of highest sun exposure. They are harmless and painless, but they may affect the cosmetic appearance. Occasionally, liver spots may mask the diagnosis of skin cancers." [From]
The Pork Pie Hat—Jazz Connection

No comments:

Post a Comment

Abandon hope, all ye who enter here! (At least put on your socks and pants.)