I Need A Vacation

I need a vacation from all this reality back here, the stuff I don't mention. For whatever reason, good or bad. I don't want to see Florida or the Grand Canyon or Las Vegas—I just want to not see and hear all the same old stuff. I don't want anything particularly exciting or pretty or jolly, I just want a different environment, a breath of air, a change from this entirely. I don't even care if I'm gone overnight, it can be short... Perhaps a ride on a very slow boat going nowhere special...

Maybe I could go live with Beaver Cleaver. I could dig that. His mom was hot, though I didn't used to realize that. Back then I thought she was too thin—my puberty sort of fixated on the Marilyn Monroe buxom model, not the Jackie Kennedy types. Besides, I wasn't into Older Women or Moms back then. Later I learned to like them and even had a few who were the requisite 10 to 20 years older. However, now I'm so old that an older woman by that definition is quite an antiquarian. Possible Rest Home material. Could be a sexpot, but not likely. Could still be interested in a tender bit of a bump and a hug, but who knows...

If I could pass through a Time Warp as I am, I guess I couldn't live with Beaver, for the opposite reason. I'd get in trouble all the time for being the old guy trying to jump on lovely June and see what kind of panties she's wearing. Not to mention, they'd wonder where the hell I came from. They'd make me go hang around with Gus The Fireman and I'd be bored shitless. I guess my fantasy is pretty far out of kilter now and my brain is over-steering to compensate.

I don't think I've found the right vacation from reality just yet, do you?

---

The Cleavers Talk

June: Wally, where are you going?
Wally: I'm going over to slug Eddie.
June: That's no way to talk, this is Sunday.
Wally: You're right, I'll wait 'til tomorrow and slug him in the cafeteria.

---