Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Dogfight

Overheard from 2 wine drinkers in a movie theater line

The guy named Tanner mentioned a story he was writing in which he suggested a certain dog might have kicked a cat's ass. His friend Phil objected violently, saying cats were tougher than dogs, dangerous as bears, couldn't be beat. Eventually, as he tired of making the argument, he got extreme and seemed to be saying that dogs were By God pussies, Pussies, PUSSIES compared to pussy cats!

"Sure, cats are dangerous," Tanner said, sort of brushing it off. "But I've already described this dog as being a classic brawler, which is a good deal worse than a regular lazy dog. Brawlers aren't compelled by others to win, and don't necessarily stop just because they get hurt. Didn't you ever read that Jack London stuff about stout-hearted dogs, fer chris' sake?"

"I don't think it's so," Phil persisted. "It don't apply."

"Your cats, I suspect, are like fancy boxers," Tanner grinned, wanting to see if he could just wear Phil down. "Put them on the street with a street-hardened tough, a real fighter who doesn't mind taking a licking, and your cat's gonna be like that boxer: either laying on the ground with all his bones busted, wondering what the fuck kind of truck hit him, or else standing over the other guy and wondering why the bloodied bastard just keeps getting up like that."

Phil still didn't agree. "Don't care, don't agree!" he asserted.

It sounded as if no possible twist of reality or fiction in the whole wide world could convince him that this invincibly favorite animal of his could ever be beaten or lessened by a mere dog.

"This is too absurd for further conversation," Phil sighed.

Tanner agreed with that part, looked thoroughly disgusted, and shut up.


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