Sunday, January 28, 2007

Poetry Referral: Conversation Piece

Since this poem has been newly decorated and polished for display, I will not move it from it's initial location, but I will recommend here that you go there! If you're spry enough, go see

Conversation Piece

at my old musty poetry blog, Judy Garland Blues. It's an amusing little wine (whine?).

Death Of An Idea, aka I Give Up!

Anatole France: "To be willing to die for an idea is to set a rather high price on conjecture."

Saturday, January 27, 2007

Maimed Again

Answering Somebody Else's Questions

2. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? My middle name, Clifton, after my father.
3. FAVORITE "ROMANTIC" SONG? While My Guitar Gently Weeps, Beatles
4. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY? months ago!!!!
6. WHAT IS YOU FAVORITE LUNCHMEAT? Blech, no such thing
7. KIDS? none I've been given blame or credit for.
9. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL? Shit, this is it. I have no privacy.
11. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yes; why, you want 'em?
12. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? not if you threatened me with a gun.
15. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? not any more.
17. SHOE SIZE? 10
18. RED OR PINK? pink. Will this determine if I'm a fairy or not?
20. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? my father
22. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES YOU ARE WEARING? blue jeans, with tan shoes.
23. LAST THING YOU ATE? a damn blueberry muffin (muffin was good, but blueberries are never very good)
24. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? the sound of the electric heater.
26. FAVORITE SMELL? Sandalwood
28. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO? Big tits? Jeez, what am I supposed to say?
29. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? I stole it from a stranger!
30. FAVORITE DRINK? grape juice
31. FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH? Canasta. Just kidding.
32. HAIR COLOR? brown
33. EYE COLOR? gray-brown
35. FAVORITE FOOD? I don't think about it.
37. FAVORITE HYMN? Whispering Hope
40. HUGS OR KISSES? what flavor?
41. FAVORITE MOVIE? Lonesome Dove
42. WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? 3 or 4 fat Nazis.
43. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? various creeps.
44. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING? Short stories, by Guy de Maupassant.
45. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? it's gray.
46. WHAT DID YOU WATCH LAST NIGHT ON TV? nothing, I was on the computer.
47. FAVORITE SOUNDS? well, it's not the sound of water over a microphone!
48. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Why, is there a new law?
49. THE FURTHEST YOU BEEN FROM HOME? California, but it was still my country!
50. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? I can write, and I can blow air out my ass. How's that?
51. WHEN AND WHERE WERE YOU BORN? 2/11/48, Chigger, Texas
52. SIBLINGS? 1 sister
53. HEELS OR FLATS? Hey, is this quiz for girls?!


I stole this from someone. It was someone female, someone nice or else attractive, but I can't remember who it was. Sorry, sweetie!

Ten Things About You
1. okay, here I am! Isn't that surprise enough?
2. I read a lot. I was given acknowledgement for it as early as the second grade. Some other kids and a teacher helped me carry the 40 or so books I had read that semester to the auditorium so that I could be recognized. Big whoop. When it was all over, who do you think had to carry all those books back to the library? That's right, just me. All for no money and no gold medal. Sigh.
3. I hide my feelings. Is that anal retentive? But the books say anal retentive involves being that way because you're trying to please everyone. That hasn't applied to me for decades. I do like to avoid confrontations, but on the other hand I can blow up faster and bigger than makes any sense! So maybe I'm anal explosive?
Sounds like a monkey in the zoo, doesn't it?
4. I've been attracted to almost every woman I've ever known, at least at some point. But I'm still attracted to most of them, even now. I guess it's a grand delusion on my part.
5. I get more like my father as time goes by. He used to be able to yawn in the middle of an interesting TV program and walk right out on it. Now I can, too!
6. my grown nephew took my Dad's old red Craftsman tool boxes the other day, leaving me many of the tools that were in and taking the others. I don't mind. But it brought to my attention that in some sense I must still consider the tools my Dad's, because I'm hesitant to remove any of them from the garage myself! A tire pressure gauge that would have been handier in my car had remained in the garage all these 15 years! The other day I bought a new one at WalMart and threw the old one away, a task I found a little difficult even though it was old and unreliable. We are often attached to things that really don't seem like they'd be very sentimental items. But there's still plenty of his stuff in the garage or around the house, so don't cry about me!
7. I actually like Glucerna (the diabetic drink); I've gotten used to it! The chocolate flavor is best, but the vanilla is all right.
8. The best sugar-free item I've ever found is Jello sugar-free vanilla pudding! I eat it nearly every day.
9. I'm very poor this month
10. I want to buy a more expensive hat, but I'm too lazy to go shopping. Maybe I'll stumble across it someday when I'm running some other errand?

Nine Things You Love
1. women in general
2. reading
3. my niece and nephew
4. puppies
5. flashlights
6. music
7. old friends
8. erotic sensations
9. remembering my favorite old dog Grey

Eight Songs Artists You Love
1. Beatles
2. Rolling Stones
3. Graham Parker
4. Joni Mitchell
5. Joan Baez
6. Doors
7. Edith Piaf
8. Kid Creole

Seven Things You Wear Daily
1. Glasses
2. slip-on shoes
3. shirt
4. jeans
5. belt
6. crew socks
7. jockey shorts

Six Things That Make You Smile
1. niece and nephew
2. old photos
3. favorite old songs
4. dopey dogs
5. old friends
6. Sponge Bob Square-Pants cartoons

Five Things You're Looking Forward To
1. seeing Janice again
2. watching "Judging Amy" on TV
3. getting well and seeing better
4. fucking a good old girl who isn't snotty
5. less time in the bathroom

Four Things You're Scared Of
1. reptiles
2. people in general
3. women in particular
4. computer viruses

Three Things That Annoy You
1. Bad drivers
2. squirrels
3. lizards

Two Of Your Favorite Books
1. Pride and Prejudice, by Jane Austen
2. Lord of the Rings, by J.R.R. Tolkien

One Thing You Can't Live Without
1. computer

Friday, January 26, 2007

Fooling Everyone

A year and a half ago
I was robust, robust enough
At any rate to fool everyone that I was ok,
And so I hid my illness a very long time
Before I fell apart.
It’s been no secret for the past year, though.
I’ve become a feeble old man in a short span
And before all expectation.
Weak, anemic, diabetic, dizzy,
And plagued with other ills
And taking more pills than I ever took
In my life. It is my life now,
Counting out pills each morning, bent over,
And I just tolerate it, I guess,
And hope that it doesn’t get worse
Or else that I don’t care or mind.
But I’d like to get well again,
If it’s all the same to hell and paradise.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Human Kindness

Oscar Wilde: "One can always be kind to people about whom one cares nothing."

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Blind Love

Rabbi Julius Gordon: "Love is not blind - it sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it is willing to see less."

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

From One Pretty Miss To Another

Alice Roosevelt Longworth:
"The secret of eternal youth is arrested development."

Sunday, January 21, 2007

Suck My Vacuum

Tennessee Williams: "A vacuum is a hell of a lot better than some of the stuff that nature replaces it with."

Saturday, January 20, 2007

20 Things I Wasted Time On

I always used to say that there was nothing you could do with Time but waste it. People would look at me like I'd stepped on their foot. I still believe that no matter what you do, you can't save it! So I was thinking about this silly shit and thought I'd make a list of the twenty things I've wasted the most time on in my life. At different times, I've wasted time on:

  1. pinball machines
  2. comic books (collecting them when I was over 18)
  3. tennis
  4. Playboy magazine
  5. canasta
  6. chess (if only for the amount of time!)
  7. not asking women out right away
  8. being heart-broke after going out with women
  9. fear of bullies
10. waiting at railway crossings
11. getting my zipper stuck
12. in bed moaning after "all-you-can-eat" outings with my buddies
13. worrying about what might be unlucky for me
14. worrying about looking stupid
15. smelling bad (when I could have just washed!)
16. swimming underwater
17. anxious about house noises when alone
18. in doctor's offices without a book to read
19. waiting for boring school classes to end
20. waiting for a chance to see eternity improve

I forgot to mention that I wasted Plenty of time as an audiophile, collecting music and equipment like a miser! So I guess that's #21. No more! Not even if I did play a lot of marbles as a kid! That's all in the past! I can't remember it. You can't prove it happened. Not a single photograph of me with a marble in my hand or mouth. Damn, I've got to get out of here while the getting's good!

Friday, January 19, 2007

Another Fine Photo

[I think I need to adjust the color on that Web Cam!]

The new me that Can See! I can't say more than that. Maybe it'll get even better. I can't read tiny print very well, but I sure can see better when I drive! I no longer need to veer to the right so much because I'm aware I don't see oncoming traffic very well. But that veering made me nervous that I was going to run over mail boxes and stuff on the roadside! Some of those boxes are concrete and brick these days, so you can't just whop 'em and go on! Not that I'd do anything like that...unless I could claim that I didn't see that I'd done it! I may be seeing the TV better, but I've stopped caring much about the TV and the excellence of it's pictures when I can barely find any quality programming. My favorite program is Judging Amy, and that's off the air already! Sexy Amy, what have you done? Well, there are daytime reruns running now, so do it again so I can see it, pant, pant!

Thursday, January 18, 2007


Octavius Retortioner: All is beautiful. Somewhere.

Monday, January 15, 2007

You Can't Stomach The Truth!

Flannery O'Connor: "The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it."

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Sweet Bird Of Youth!

Oscar Wilde: "To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable."

Saturday, January 13, 2007

Black And White -- Politics

Oops, this is a dangerous hint! If I make this white print on black background for political labels when there's only one, I guess I'll have to write more! I must be planning to do so. Oh, Jesus. I have a furious cousin who might write some for me if I dry up. He could write them in his name or mine, I don't care. Maybe he ought to; he used to have a blog, but now wouldn't blog if you flogged him. Besides, Beta would probably rip him a new asshole; it's done it to others!

Speaking of tearing anybody new assholes, Bush seems determined. The rotten son of a bitch wants more war and it seems like no one in the country has the guts to stand in his way, certainly not the Congress. What's the matter with them, I wonder? We've gotten to where not all of any group is in favor of continuing this fruitless war of liberation. The Iraqi people are now at liberty to begin a sectarian war and have done so, something that Arabs have always been good at. Maybe it stems from their desert tribal training. Even if Bush was sincere when he started, I don't believe he's doing anything now except stubbornly trying to come out of all this without backing down. He's the guy who's never liked to admit to being wrong. Reminds me of a drunken Texas frat-boy, which he used to be, and whom I used to observe at first hand back in Austin in the seventies! I remember one now, totally drunk and standing in the middle of the road, refusing to let one of his cohorts leave because he wanted to argue. Nobody would roll down the windows and talk to him, but they were in the middle of the road, stopping traffic in both directions. Sonsofbitches. When the police arrived, they broke it up, but arrested nobody.

Maybe I didn't see Bush, but I saw his like! When you're rich, you've had limited experience with being arrested or being knocked down and having the shit beat out of you! And that's his problem now. His personal predilections and agenda are forcing the country forward when there are fewer and fewer people who want to go! Goddamn it, when will he wake up? I guess he won't. Congress or the American people need to stop him. I don't know if we have the guts or not. There's been no sign of it. Why don't they impeach him just to keep him busy defending himself? I don't care if they make it stick. It didn't stick to Clinton, either, though it surely kept him busy and screwed up some of his administration. But Clinton doesn't have any balls, either, or else he'd call for impeachment! Maybe he could be the one that Bush turns to in the group and says, Et tu, Brute? For Bill is surely being a friend, otherwise, goddammit! Why can't we impeach? I guess Presidents have too much dirt on one another to get into a real battle, but why are the people shy? Does Bush have pictures of us all fucking a bunny rabbit? Is he blackmailing us into silence over this? Goddammit, get it over! End the war and save some American soldiers' lives. They're being thrown away for Halliburton, not for democracy.

It's time to sling some chicken blood! All of this Great Dignity that we allow to the President is not His; it belongs to the American people, and I wish they would do something about this distorted little bastard. He has become the kind of megalomaniac that Hitler and Nixon were, I think.

[For my nostalgia fans who want to read about one of the drunken Frat parties mentioned above, see the two bottom posts here (click on me!).]

My Paintings

This is not to show you how artistic I am, but how crazy I am. These are my paintings done with leather paints on the back of Coca-Cola cardboard boxes. I'll do anything when I get bored; write poetry, work at the computer, blabber up a blog, make little paintings that are just elaborate doodles! I used to cut out paper dolls, but...

I put these paintings on display because I lost them when my Southern Exposure sites closed down a couple of days ago. I didn't pay them or want to pay them, so that host passed away. So, any good stuff that was there may turn up over here, even if it sneaks in without any announcement! But I may admit to it sometimes, like this. I was sorry to see the old Web Site go, but progress is progress, even when it's less! The march of Time!

Dumb And Dumber

How do you like my black frames around the artsy rat and other photos, boys and girls? That's the only subject I can even think of. The new frames seem to have made my page texture background disappear from behind the quotations, though, and I can't figure out the connection! Jeez. I wore myself out today with answering Blogger questions and having some conversations on various IM's. I'm so tired and it's so late! Tomorrow will be another day. Maybe things will fix themselves. I gotta get out of this place. Get outta the way for the Blog*Star, who is paid Zero! Dumber than a rock.


Ah ha, I figured it out. It was not related, I was just a victim of circumstance and coincidence.

The real problem: My old email service and Web site host just closed me down (payment was due in earlyish December, but I didn't renew). It took them almost a month to shut down my sites. (Blubber, blubber, gone forever!) I forgot there'd be some photos on that host that I'd have to replace. I better start looking through the files! I'm pretty certain there are none left on the template, so it'd just be a missing photo in some few posts that would be the problem now! However, with over a thousand posts, I may run across the missing pix for a while to come. If you see one, let me know and I'll fix it!

Maybe I'm not so dumb. Sigh...

Friday, January 12, 2007

Fat Rat!

Hoo! Six thousand and more hits on the counter at my other blog, Most Frequent Blogger Questions, where I give advice about Blogger problems like a little tin God. It's hard work, but somebody's got to do it, even though I haven't yet been paid! Hey, Blogger!!!

But, boy, does the Rat feel fat! That counter almost makes me smile. Pull out the confetti! Give a blast on the cardboard horn! We'll eat some chemical fertilizer until our droppings turn green and blue! Then go back to work for a distraction. Ho, hum...

Thursday, January 11, 2007

A January Demented Dylan Poem

Bob Dylan’s On His Own (So Am I)

Well, I was open to the soft side,
Was what I was calling,
But it was hard, abrasive, and everything
I knew about anyone was appalling
When it was applied to you, gentle you,
And it made me dizzy, and I just failed and faded
As I stared at you intently and once more slept alone…

Bob Dylan’s on his own Internet radio station,
I hear, him and Howard Stern, but not me,
(Fuck all that money for mere radio!)
And I’ve been up for days, just dazed
About how the world goes, when it goes,
Growing primmer by the hour,
My light growing dimmer by the power of lost
Energies and funeral flowers aglow in Kansas City
Where the jazz once flowed like black vanilla icing...

Oh what can anyone tell
About the mysteries of heaven and hell
Or the music that’s been lost
Now that we’re all awake and deaf
And Bird is gone and dead
And everything is public and pubic
And besides takes place on TV for all to see?
It's everything but the sex.

Could anything be more vulgar than all of this?
We strive to stroke and spill and get our own way,
While others in the bed are chilled in a heated room
And the deadpan souls of soldiers pile up on TV
Without ever bleeding very much somehow
And we may grieve, but don’t cry about it at all.

Some people may scream and wince
And complain a bit
To the masters of the universe,
But before it's over
They just look stupid on TV
And we cut to a commercial.

Monday, January 08, 2007

Public Shock

Edgar Watson Howe: "Most people have seen worse things in private than they pretend to be shocked at in public."

Sunday, January 07, 2007

Let's Get Political

I don't suppose it's necessary to become as bad as Saddam Hussein in order to kill him, but for that matter I'm not sure that would be very possible! You could kill him, you could stomp him into a greasy spot, but you'd still be a few hundred thousand other deaths short of equalling the elegant, unflappable Murdering Bastard Saddam! What the fuck do I care if he was the totalitarian Head of State in Iraq!!!

Iraq may have made a big mistake with their hurried execution and stupid inability to snatch everyone's camera phones, but they would not have made such a mistake if it wasn't for America! That's right, it was all our fault! If when we found him hiding in his rat hole in the sand, we'd just shot him to pieces and then thrown a handgun down in the bloody hole with him and said, "Jeez, the crazy bastard was reaching for it!", it would've all been over. Less millions, less TV time, less whine whine whimper whimper about the monster's civil rights!

Would it have been so wrong to have just killed him with a hammer? I guess there's always somebody who wants to pretend that there is a civilized posture you can remain in when you're at war. But it isn't true. When you go to war, you go to Hell. Not only does everything go wrong, but you ARE wrong! You cannot make it right.

Oh, damn, we've let the Iraqis kill Saddam Hussein! How could we do that?

What the fuck did we expect? He's dead. Is he good and dead? Well, then, that's good. If some Iraqis kill other Iraqis over it, that's good, too. Just get the American soldiers out of the way and We, at least, will be on the way back to being Civilized! Give George Bush a sharp stick and a dull wit and a Bible, but no bombs; then let him finish the war. See which Infidels God strikes. God has not been discerning about it, so far. If you want to pretend that He has been, you must be George Bush's best asshole-buddy.

No, I'm not worried about Saddam going to hell. And I'm not worried about that asshole George going to Heaven, either.

Why do I seem to hear Olivia Newton-John in the background singing that damn song, "Let's Get Physical?" Does EVERYTHING in this Pop culture suggest some other stupid cliche, jargon, or worn-out media phrase?

I think so.

So Fuck All You Stupid Bastards!

Mark Twain: "Good breeding consists of concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person."

Young Hearts

The Heart Of Carmen

Her softness seldom held me through the night,
But her dimness always gently hid the light.
What dwelt in the heart of Carmen
Made part of me feel heartache
And the rest of me feel right.

Right on the money...
Right at the time...
Right about what was wrong...

Current draft: 04/28/04
©1980 Ronald C. Southern

Saturday, January 06, 2007

Wake Up!

Dr. Seuss: "I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, And that enables you to laugh at life's realities."

Big Dog Little Dog

Charles M. Schulz:
"Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There's so little hope for advancement."

Friday, January 05, 2007

New Confusions

Poem From Tom Sawyer's Unpublished Diary

I don’t like to think
About places that don’t exist
And I don’t like to think
About places that do.

What I really like, Miss,
Is to sit in the shade
With my toes in the river,
Jerking off while
Thinking of you.

Current draft: 01/05/07
©1980 Ronald C. Southern

Young poets on the run,
Beware of ending up
A bent and slow old man who observes,
"I've got poems older than you!"

What Was That?

Did You Say BETA?!
Bite me!
"Imoana Imoana Imoana...?!"

Another Foggy Night And Morning

I did a better job of taping the eye-patch to my face last night and it didn't come loose at all. It also didn't blind me with the tape across the eye, so I had placed it more sensibly! I slept pretty well. I didn't have to remove the eye-patch until I was ready to step into the shower, then uh-oh! It was super-glued to my face! Just in case it'd help, I stepped into the shower with it still on my face and let it soak a little. I don't think it came loose any better from being wetted; I think I just calmed down some under the warm water and got a better hold of the tape and it did come loose. I thought that was pretty good until I realized that the sticky stuff left behind by the tape was REALLY DIFFICULT TO REMOVE! I was out of the shower and drying off before I realized some of it was still in my hair--yuck!

I wonder what my face will feel like after 2 weeks of this? If i have all my skin, I guess it'll be plastered with gluey stuff. I went to another doctor's appointment this morning and he said it was a little better, but still had the scratch. They put another new contact lens "bandage" on it to help it heal and now I'll return on Monday. The reason my eye got scratched is that the deadening drug used in the operation started wearing off too early on Tuesday evening, allowing my eyelid to open and the eye scratched itself against the gauge or whatever they'd dressed it with. Drugs never did have all that much effect on me, except for some of the illegal ones. Maybe they should have thrown in some pot on top of the pharmacy stuff? If nothing else, I'd have slept well and not had such fluttery eyelids!

Thursday, January 04, 2007

Onward Thru The Fog

I was lazy last night about putting on the eye-patch that I'm supposed to sleep in for the next two weeks and ended up with the "transparent" tape that holds it to my face too much covering the area where the eye is located. Oh hell, I thought, what's there to see when I'm sleeping? True enough.

This morning I woke up with a pressing need to get to the bathroom! So, once again I was stumbling to the door and into the hall bathroom as a one-eyed man! There was no time to remove the tape! Ah, at last I could deal with the patch, though!

One state of hazy vision led to another, though. The sleepy sand and goo had piled up so much (and me not supposed to rub my eye). Shit! I took a shower, but you can't exactly put the fire hose in your eye, either, so that did minimum good! After I administered the three different eye drops (one drop, wait 5 minutes, then the next, etc.), and lots of blinking, I got to where I could see as good (or as poorly) as I'd been able to see the day before when the Big eye-patch was removed! A lot of work for little reward, but at least I wasn't as blind as I felt at first this morning!

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

One-Eyed Jack

I had my cataract surgery yesterday at 11:00 and it all went pretty well. They knocked me out utterly for 2 or 3 minutes so they could deaden the eye area (where feeling didn't return for many hours); that was very slick. They've obviously had practice. I was conscious during the procedure, but not aware of anything being done to the eye. I was "doped", but awake and aware and able to hear the medical team's conversation. It wasn't so bad, though I'd rather have been given more dope and slept through the whole thing. I left there with an eye-patch over my left eye by 1:30 and stayed like that until this morning when I returned to the doctor's office at about 8:30 and had it removed. I came home and worked some at the computer with my glasses askew over my good eye and my eye-patch, looking like a one-eyed nerdy impersonation of Patrick Stewart when he said sort of stiffly, "I am Locutus of The Borg!" (Ha! You probably thought I didn't watch TV!)

It appears to me that the medical people raved about how well it went in terms of my eye not being too swollen, discolored, or otherwise marred. Yeah, that sounds good. But there's a scratch on my new lens which has to finish healing before I might be able to see how well I can see. I was sort of interested in finding out about that, but no dice. So they put some kind of contact lens "bandage" on my eye and I have other appointments to go back in and consult the eye doctor. Whoopee.

The only thing that's really clear is that I sure can see (and walk!) better now that I could when I was wearing the claustrophobia-inducing eye-patch! Whether I can see better than I could the day before yesterday has yet to be established.

Monday, January 01, 2007

Here Comes Another One!

Erratic Sap Attack

Fuck the New Year! It's just This year (or will be). Probably will be shittier than last year--know whut I mean? Hope I don't hear that any of you darlings had to be scraped off the sidewalk or roadway tomorrow morning--know whut I mean?! I would not be indifferent; I'd only look it. Some of you keep me awake, you know?

I'm not sure if any of you keep me honest or not... But, hang on!