Thursday, May 14, 2009

Too Many Small Tasks

Ennui and Boredom

Too many small tasks today. I feel worn out. My Mother and I gathered cleaning tools together and went to the cemetery to clean the muddy gravestones, all in the same location: my sister's, my father's, and one of Mother's sisters (who died decades ago) and the sister's husband, who died more recently (1994?). That aunt and uncle were always good to me, though it's' sure hard to remember all about them any more. Only my sister was really recent (2007). I kinda had a mental slip the other day by imagining for a second that my sister might "drop by", the first time I've thought even for a second that she was still alive. Very unnerving, but I guess it's not that unusual. Then I went to WalMart to refill one of two of my blood pressure medications and a few random additional items. Brought home food from Whataburger. Food was ok, service was a great disappointment, but I guess I'm getting like my mother and won't cut people much slack for bad service. They forgot one item and then a second item was hidden under the french fries, which may be typical there, but I don't know the habits of restaurants, fancy or cheap, any more nor do I much want to know. Clearly they thought I was a dumbass son of a bitch not to dig down to the bottom layer of the sack, but I'm getting to the point with bad service like that powerful creature on StarTrek who, when they killed his human wife, he wiped out the species, man woman and child--all across the universe! But I didn't kill anyone. I went home and did laundry. I forgot the clothes at each step, as usual, so that the process took hours and hours. When I was younger, one washer load and one dryer load and putting it all up didn't seem like much, but now it certainly does! I'm very tired. My life is boring.


  1. That feeling that someone who died a while ago isn't really gone can be unsettling. I don't get it when I'm awake, but in dream, particularly just before I wake up. I feel sure my mother is still alive in the UK and I have been very remiss in not calling or writing. I wake up feeling guilty! It's a recurring thing too. Odd! She died in 1997.

  2. I've had a few recurring dreams, but none lately; it's better this way because they were usually uncomfortable things to dream about.


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