Go On, Rub It In!

I may be stiff-backed, But what would be wrong with a little stiffie And maybe a little soft poon (or was that porn?) To go along with it??? Things sneak up on us Without even being very subtle, Not to mention that things sneak away from us, too, Unbuttered, unkept, and uncouth— And that's the worst of all. It's bad enough to keep losing track of old friends Without all of them declining to rub it in anymore!