Do They Look Affectionate Or What?

Just thought we needed a little wakeup call around here!

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Bad Memory?

Mark Twain: "If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything."

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Counting?

Site Meter says I've now exceeded 18,000 hits. Big deal. If it was 18,000 people in some short length of time, I'd be impressed with myself. But probably, it's the same 50 to a hundred reliable Internet buddies who have just kept coming back over the past 3 years! That's nice, yes, but it minimizes the impact of the 18,000 hits, I'd say! I used to look at people's numbers. Sometimes I've been jealous of other people. There's Theresa, with her greater than 103,000 hits! She (and others) slap the dogshit out of me. Also, the cat shit, the monkey shit, and all the shit that can be found in a hundred thousand overhead birds! I've been knocked in the dirt! You know how. Damn. If some of you want to raise your hits and smacks and swacks, ask ANYBODY but me! I'm not the guy!

I probably shouldn't keep that Site Meter public. I think I keep it there as a sort of humility. Or should I say humiliation? Naa, I don't take it that seriously any more! Learn to be superior even when you don't have much of anything going for you--I have! I'm about as snotty as they come.

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It's My World

I haven't written many stupid damn posts lately. Of course I haven't written many intelligent ones, either. And no lengthy ones at all. I guess I'm just about to run out of gas!

What little brain power I have seems to be going elsewhere lately. My cousin thinks it's drivelling out in tiny squiggles in my various contacts with the Blogger Help Group. Also, in my connections to other people's Web Cams or the yammering (typing) I do on other chat lines! It's all true, I guess. I talk too much, I chat too much, I email too much, I flirt too much, I get mad as hell too much (although not much!). That's just my nature. Never thought of me as being natural? Well, yeah, if I'm allowed to fudge a little! Isn't that permissible here in this peculiar corner of the universe? I SAY IT IS, DAMMIT! You know? It's my world, even if it's stupid.

I might get to work on that. But I won't work very hard!

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p.s. I don't really wear that shirt all the time! It's just coincidence!

BUM ME OUT!

Link between Pesticides and Parkinson's

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I used to work with pesticides, you know? YOU KNOW?

Inconvenience

Thomas Jefferson: "I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it."

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Happy Days

Want Some Of This?

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Kindred Spirit

Joseph Baretti: "I hate mankind, for I think myself one of the best of them, and I know how bad I am."

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Babel Fish!!!

What fun this is, and yet no one ever clicks on my Babel Fish flags over in the sidebar! Are there no foreigners or even multi-lingual people around here? I can't really test the quality of the translations, since I am not multi-lingual! Where are the Spanish, French, Chinese, and German speakers? Maybe the translations all translate "Babel Fish" as "Hungry Toilet Fish" for all I know! When I used to pay close attention to my stats, I'd see a few hits from other countries. Are there no more? Try my damn translator!!! Maybe it'll be more fun than a wet tongue on your crotch! Or not.

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Good Girls

Tallulah Bankhead: "It's the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have the time."

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Do I Care?

Web Cam Again Gives Me The Evil Eye

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Father and Son

On the Blogger Help Group there are a lot of topics that come up again and again. One is about Templates, which is something I don’t claim to know much about. It’s about how the blog looks and how it operates, of course, but I only occasionally can figure one out. People may be alerted (and very grateful) when I figure one out, but they probably miss the 4 or 10 times that I look at one without figuring out a damned thing!

Some people continue to want some new one they’ve just seen, either in use on someone’s site or available on some template free site! I just duck my head and shiver. I can’t advise anyone about that crap. I know people who can and I respect them very much, but I wouldn’t even send some inquiring newbie to them for fear I’d be introducing my friends to the devil! I mean, anyone these days could find some devil of their own, but I end up very chagrinned if I find myself adding devils to someone else’s load.

“And you put the load right on me”, goes the old song. Did it also say, “I picked up my blog and went looking for a place to hide”? No, I misremember.

I picked up my bag, I went looking for a place to hide
When I saw Carmen and the devil walking side by side.
I said "hey Carmen, come on, let's go downtown."
She said "I gotta go, but my friend can stick around."

Take the load off fanny, take a load for free;
Take a load off fanny, and you put the load right on me.

(Credit to: B. Dylan & The Band)

Something like that.

Sometimes I can be of some help to people about their templates and they are overly impressed. It’s good to get some “Thank yous” during the day and night. Some people who are polite will even thank me when I admit to failing at the task. Maybe I should just give up the work and falsely admit to working on their blog template! Then I’d still get Thank Yous! Naa; it’s possible to be that dishonest, but not for me. It’s impossible for me to be that way; I absorbed humility or modesty or whatever it is from my dad He’s been deceased these past 10 years and more, but that makes it even more important that I don’t turn into a crook. I’ll never be the man of good character that he was, but I can do my best.

I guess that’s what I’m doing when I solve people’s template or publishing or other problems with their blog, just trying to do my best. It’s a small world and sometimes my best turns out great for someone! That’s very cool. Yet my father’s conscience is still inside of me, and I can’t pretend to be any smarter than I am. There’s so many things that I don’t understand. I guess that’s one of the things that a smart man has to understand! I guess even my father knew that.

How did I end on this topic? I digress a lot, but it’s my small piece of the world here, so I don’t mind it. Hope you don’t, either.

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Sugar Attack!

  

Some Other Guy

Oh, God, look at all this color! This guy must be a fag! Oh, wait a minute, this guy is me and I haven't been a fag yet, except for one experience when I was too young to know what it was (besides, I got so excited that I pissed in the other boy's mouth! Guess we both lost our taste for it after that. But look at all this color! Looks like something ruptured in here and is still bleeding! Admittedly, there is some brown color in all these quotations. But look at this baby blue and pinky colors and twat reds and crimsons! I guess if I gave a shit, I'd try to get some control over this. But if you think that I give a shit, you've obviously mistaken me for some other guy! La di dah, everybody!

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Multitudes

Walt Whitman: "Do I contradict myself?/ Very well then I contradict myself. (I am large, I contain multitudes.)"

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Down The Stairs

"Some people are like Slinkies--not really good for anything, but they still put a grin on your face when you topple them down a flight of stairs." -- Unknown

stolen from JR Ford at Bushisms aand Other Ridiculous Ideas

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Ducks

Hot Damn! Lookit Dis! Ducklike Fossil Points to Aquatic Origins for Modern Birds

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Circles

Pat Paulsen: "Assuming either the Left Wing or the Right Wing gained control of the country, it would probably fly around in circles."

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Beauty, Beauty, Who's Got The Beauty?

  

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Nothing Better To Do

See, I told you I couldn't be trusted with a camera.  

Shakespeare

Robert Graves: "The remarkable thing about Shakespeare is that he really is very good, in spite of all the people who say he is very good."

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Adolescence

M. Cartmill: "As an adolescent I aspired to lasting fame, I craved factual certainty, and I thirsted for a meaningful vision of human life - so I became a scientist. This is like becoming an archbishop so you can meet girls."

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List, Done the Right Way

(What's the fun in this, Theresa?)

Ron needs a girl who can see his shiny qualities and forgive him the flaws.
Ron needs a Nap.
Ron Needs a damn hair cut
Ron needs a taco
Ron needs to move
Ron needs to prove himself to himself.
Ron needs prayer right now
Ron needs to let people know that he is a man of wealth and taste
Ron needs no introduction
Ron needs to know about it

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She Was 17

She was 17 and she was still a virgin. She’d done some nasty things with her boyfriend, but she hadn’t done "the nasty”. She didn’t know herself if she was therefore still a “good” girl or not. It was something she both longed to do and longed to refrain from! Her boyfriend didn’t help much; like any boy he just wanted to do it, period. The only thing stopping him was that he didn’t want to rape her. He needed her full consent. He was a very nice boy, sort of, way down under the skin.

Well, she knew that. She knew he was a hard-dick, too. Boy, did she know that. He wasn’t hesitant about thrusting it at her or unzipping his pants and putting her hand on it. She knew all about it! It wasn’t so very big, but it was bigger than she could imagine inside herself. Would it rip her open?! What was she going to do? She knew what she wanted to do. She wanted to go ahead and do it and have it over with, even if it was awful. But how? How would she do it? She’d have to have some privacy to do it.

So she began to plan. Not just for the proper day when Mommy and Daddy wouldn’t be at the house for a while, but she planned for towels and things to clean up with if she bled. She planned to have her best sheets and covers off the bed at the time. She even planned what makeup she’d have near the bed in case she cried too much! She felt nervous as hell, but still she wanted to have a plan!

The day it came, her boyfriend was taken by surprise. But he was willing. After all, it was what he thought of all the time! He just wondered if he could perform well. He planned to be forgiving if he could not. He’d never pretended to be a Macho Man, though he was pretty sure he’d love to fuck.

The day she let him have it, he was all for it and so was she! She'd found her mother's spermicidal jelly and had it ready. The boy had brought some condoms, though they hardly expected to need more than one! They were both in a hurry to get to it, to get it over! But damn if he wasn’t too gentle and considerate to break her hymen at first. They kept on like that for a while, being afraid to just shove it the hell in until she grabbed his buttocks and ordered him, “C’mon, shove it!” And he did. And then he did some more. As afraid as he was of hurting her, he knew now it had been done. She was hurt, but she didn’t bleed much. He was embarrassed, but also very full of himself about the success. Neither one had enjoyed it all that much, but they could see how they would. The next time around would be better. Less anxiety, less painful.

“Jesus, this sure was hard!” he grinned at her.

“Yeah,” she agreed. “But not bad.”

“No, not bad!”

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Human History

H. G. Wells: "Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe."

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What, Me Worry?

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My Bullshit List

In imitation of the lovely Theresa:

Ron needs to get punished by Theresa. Something tactile.
Ron needs to remember to trim his beard more often.
Ron needs to remember to forget.
Ron needs better-fitting pants.
Ron needs something that tastes right for a change.
Ron needs to overcome his horror of lists.
Ron needs to overcome anemia.
Ron needs a nice gooey friendly fuck.
Ron needs a place to hang his hat.
Ron needs fewer pills, or at least smaller ones!

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My Hole

I'm going to crawl into my hole and hide. Wonder if I'll see any other varmints? I hope not, I'm tired, and don't want to be jumping up all night! Tomorrow's another day. Worse or better, though, who knows. Maybe some yummy girl will chew on my lips nicely before I can even get awake!

Oh, well, dream on!

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I'm in this for the long haul, but so much has already been hauled! (Did I say I got a digital camera?)

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Religion

James Feibleman: "A myth is a religion in which no one any longer believes."

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Mice To The Rescue (Sorta)

See Using Mice For Gene Therapy Research I'm not against it, so don't slobber fellow-traveller wetness over me!

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Don't Care

I don’t care much, that’s how I feel. Or perhaps I care for all the wrong things. I don’t know and I don’t care. I’m tired of things not working out. Things big and small, small and big. They’ve all been a waste. Today’s been another waste. God knows why I even woke up.

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Prejudice

Lillian Hellman: "Nobody outside of a baby carriage or a judge's chamber believes in an unprejudiced point of view."

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They Can't Take The Truth

Oscar Wilde: "If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you."

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Someone Else

I wonder what it’s like to be someone else? Even if some of my qualities were erased or some of my faculties improved by the transformation, I don’t think it would be all that good. Even I was more handsome or healthier, I don’t think I could stand it unless I could still have access to my brain. My brain amuses me in times of lonliness or when all my friends disappear off the planet.

I play with my brain, and it plays with me. My thoughts entertain me! I probably couldn’t do that so well if I was someone else! The Someone Else might not be up to my standard. I might not like what they think; but then there’s no sense in all that since I wouldn’t be me! There’s no reason to think I’d know much if I was someone else. Goddamn crazy world might as well be science-fiction.

Just bum me out.

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