"I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I've ever known." — Walt Disney (1901 - 1966)
"In all recorded history there has not been one economist who has had to worry about where the next meal would come from." — Peter Drucker
"He wrapped himself in quotations — as a beggar would enfold himself in the purple of Emperors." Rudyard Kipling
"Of all the preposterous assumptions of humanity over humanity, nothing exceeds most of the criticisms made on the habits of the poor by the well-housed, well-warmed, and well-fed." — Herman Melville
"To refuse awards is another way of accepting them with more noise than is normal." — Peter Ustinov
"Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example." — Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson" (1894)
The Dead As The Living See Them
You are not more living
Because the dead have voice
To beckon men with fear,
And yet you still cling to—
Nor do the living often speak
Of what fell choice the dead have made
Or what brings forth this fear,
And yet we still cling to
This life that sows and grows
And knows nothing of its seasons,
This life that soils and foils us
And gives us no good reason.
There's a strand reaching up to heaven,
A strand reaching down below,
And nothing at all
Here in mid-air
To show us where we go.
We are what we are in the darkness,
We are what we are at the noon—
A star fallen down from the heaven,
A star fallen down too soon.
There's a hope in the heart's confusion,
Blind hope in the heartless dead,
But nothing at all
Here in mid-air
To show what all should know.
We are what we are in the heavens,
We are what we are on the ground—
Starstruck in the dark and stillness,
Dumbstruck by the slightest sound.
You are not more living
Because the dead have strength
To reckon what men fear,
And yet you still cling to—
Nor do the living often speak
Of what great lengths the dead have gone
Or what dispels this fear,
This fear we still cling to.
rcs.
5th draft: 07/15/05
©1980 Ronald C. Southern
(By Thomas 'Fats' Waller, Harry Brooks, and Andy Razaf;
recorded by Louis Armstrong in ’29 and ‘55)
Cold empty bed,
Springs hard as lead,
Feel like Old Ned,
Wish I was dead
What did I do to be so black and blue?
Even the mouse
Ran from my house
It laughed at you
And scorned you too
What did I do to be so black and blue?
I’m white inside
That don’t help my case
‘Cause I can’t hide
What is in my face (accompanied by indecipherable scat)
How would it end
Ain’t got a friend
My only sin
Is in my skin
What did I do to be so black and blue?
Meet The Pest In Pest Control
"We like to keep the light down in here so we can read the terminals better," one of them said.
"Yeah, sure," Tanner laughed, "but you've got it so dark that you almost can't see anything but the terminals. You're going to end up like a bunch of fat blind guppies at the bottom of the sea, with bulbous eyes and concentration-camp cheeks!"
"It's not that bad," they laughed.
"The guppies don't think it's bad, either, until the light gets in and sears their eyeballs."
"Well, we'll survive," the manager for Energy Management said, beginning to lose his patience with the conversation, but still trying to look professionally friendly. He was pretty proud of his work at Mosquito University.
"Yeah, I'm sure you will," Tanner smiled.
He spoke softly; he too was trying to look friendly, but not believing a word of it. They would all turn into fish, he was sure of it. But it was hardly anything you could explain to a fish. A fish doesn't know about fate, or much else, either. It only knows it's own water. From that time on, Tanner didn't feel very welcome there, though he had to go, anyway, for the quarterly spraying and inspection schedule.
rcs.
3rd draft: 06/01/05
©1991 Ronald C. Southern
"Physical deformity calls forth our charity. But the infinite misfortune of moral deformity calls forth nothing but hatred and vengeance." — Clarence Darrow
"If absolute power corrupts absolutely, does absolute powerlessness make you pure?" — Harry Shearer
"I have a rock garden. Last week three of them died." — Richard Diran
"I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That's deep enough. What do you want—an adorable pancreas?" Jean Kerr
"Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket — safe, dark, motionless, airless — it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable." — C.S. Lewis
"Jesus may love you, but Satan will do you favors." — Anonymous Internet Porno Site
Bette Davis Said
All these middle-aged modern women with their dyke haircuts,
Where do they all come from? Where does this business lead?
They're normal—yes? Still intelligent, I admit. Not gay,
But they don't make me feel a thing, nor do they want me to.
The men who come to love them, I believe,
Must be sexless starving saints. Oh, look,
There’s Liz Taylor, sniffed by sweet Michael Jackson
Who doesn’t even have a prick. Does he? Perhaps
She thinks he’s Monty Clift come back at last. Perhaps he is.
A saint is always good to find, it’s said,
"But a good hard man is better in bed!"
That's what Bette Davis said, I'm told,
Though she, delightful aged jezebel, is dead
And can't deny such rumors or affirm.
It might have been Carole Lombard instead
(Who gave it up to Clark Gable for the joy of it)
Or jaunty Jean Harlow at a midnight haunt
Or marvelous Marlene Dietrich (rumors hint!)
Might have said it to gorgeous Greta Garbo in bed—
Now that would have been a goosey gander! Quack, quack!
It doesn’t matter much, for most of those faded
Screen-star sinners are now long dead
And the living mostly spent—
But isn't it odd how sad I feel and how unsaintly?
rcs.
6th draft: 07/15/05
©2000 Ronald C. Southern
"The one function TV news performs very well is that when there is no news we give it to you with the same emphasis as if there were." — David Brinkley
“I often think you're beautiful,” he told her as he prepared to leave.
“I know,” she said. She sounded regretful, but resigned to it.
“And when I find you beautiful, I always fall in love with you.”
“I know, I know,” she repeated. “But don't you see, that you're just falling in love with beauty, or some concept of beauty? It's not me.”
“No. I mean, you're probably right, but no, I don't usually see it. Maybe that's it, I don't know. It's awful, I know that—falling in love with a what or a whom that doesn't fall back.”
“Of course it is,” she nodded. “It's that way for everyone, when it happens.”
“You mean everyone falls in love with beauty?” he asked.
“I'm not sure about that. But everyone at some time falls in love with something that’s not there or with someone who doesn't see the world the same. I'm sure of that.”
“I guess they do. It's sad, isn't it?”
“Yep. But you can't do shit about it.”
“I guess not. See you in the funny papers.”
rcs.
4th draft: 07/15/05
©1989 Ronald C. Southern
At A Loss
He was out there in the cold,
And he was pissing blood, not much, but some.
We could not see it in the dark
And anyway we were eye to eye at the table,
But he knew pretty much what was going on
And so did we—that he was just outside the window
Yet he and you and I,
Whether taken as one or two or three,
Were at a total loss.
rcs.
3rd draft: 07/10/05
©2003 Ronald C. Southern
(Can't Focus)
Might as well,
I told the girl—
Can't dance, can't die,
Can't concentrate my attention,
Or focus my eye.
Can't come to conclusion
Or bathe in the stream,
Can't live up to my failures
Or get down further than this.
rcs.
3rd draft: 07/10/05
©2004 Ronald C. Southern
Hop On You
Oh, I’d just like to run and hop on you and—
No, I don’t mean it like that, I don’t.
What I mean is I’d like to hug you tight
And kiss you and it’d be all right.
I’d have taken a bath, maybe two,
And made sure I smelled okay just for you,
And brushed my teeth in case you kissed me—
Just in case, you know, not because you would!
It would be like having something in the bank
If you would. Proof that I will not die a pauper.
I’d bite my tongue a bit just to keep it civil
While it was loose and lashing about while the world went on
And all the while be thinking of Precious Pretty You
And I wouldn’t have a clear thought in my head.
I just like you because you’re so you,
And envy the members of your book club
And treasure your looks on your digital photo
And wonder, Is that really you? They’re just dots…
Oh, I wonder if husbands and lovers ever have a clue
How lucky they are to have you?
But why wouldn’t they, why not?
You are pictured in the paper today with Him,
With one of them. He's such a blur
And yet may be the luckiest man in all of Timberlake
Or maybe even half the state. I dare think of it no more.
rcs.
2nd draft: 07/08/05
©2005 Ronald C. Southern
Plumbers Again?!
I swore last week that I was fed up and would be getting rid of Bloglines. I had tried their advice once, to cancel each of my subscriptions and then to renew them one at a time. That voodoo didn't work for long and just made me mad as hell. However, I saw later (you will have to try to forgive this word on my lips) that they were offline for a while, claiming that the Bloglines Plumber was at work fixing things up. Aagh! Why they had to use that word, I don't know. It suggested to me that they'd probably put somebody in charge of that job about as competent as I was. Such may be the case, but I decided to try it all one more time. I killed each subscription; I renewed each subscription.
Mind you, those of you who are unfamiliar, I'm not talking about subscriptions that cost anything, just something that costs me some time filling out a very short form for each website I want to be notified about when there's a new post there. The other time that I tried this fix worked, yet ceased to work after a day or two. This time, a week has gone by and nothing's gone wrong yet, and I've got my fingers crossed. The real thing I learned in all this is not so much how Bloglines works or how to repair it, but how addicted I am to having the advantage of it! I was going nuts without my Blog helper helping me keep it clear which websites I needed to check and which I didn't! I guess I have about 30 blogs I keep track of and that's too many to do by my memory alone or by luck. I'm vaguely sorry that I'm a pitiful junkie like this, but I must have my blogs in a timely manner! I'm getting older and guesswork won't do! I much prefer saving the time and checking them only when they have new stuff.
The Steinbeck Boys
Through the rain they ran,
They ran with the dead rabbit as if convinced
They could run between the raindrops so fleetly
The wet would never touch them.
But when at length they were soaked,
One boy took the rabbit and flung it
By its feet again and again,
Till it fell down on his brother
Who wrapped the rabbit around his neck,
And let its feet and head dangle beneath his chin
And they ran and ran in the rain
Until they reached home again.
rcs.
2nd draft: 07/15/04
©2004 Ronald C. Southern
MORE SELF-CONTROL
I have more self-control
Than other men
In some things rather like
The wrong things.
So is that weakness
Or is that strength?
I can almost
Never tell.
rcs.
2nd draft: 07/08/05
©2003 Ronald C. Southern
YOU MAKE ME FEEL SO YOUNG
Writer(s): myrow/gordon
You make me feel so young
You make me feel like spring has sprung
Every time I see you grin
I'm such a happy individual
The moment that you speak
I want to go and play hide-and-seek
I want to go and bounce the moon
Just like a toy balloon
You and I are just like a couple of tots
Running across the meadow
Picking up lots of forget-me-nots
You make me feel so young
You make me feel there are songs to be sung
Bells to be rung, and a wonderful fling to be flung
And even when I'm old and gray
I'm gonna feel the way I do today
'cause you make me feel so young
All Along The Watchtower
by Bob Dylan
"There must be some way out of here," said the joker to the thief,
"There's too much confusion, I can't get no relief.
Businessmen, they drink my wine, plowmen dig my earth,
None of them along the line know what any of it is worth."
"No reason to get excited," the thief, he kindly spoke,
"There are many here among us who feel that life is but a joke.
But you and I, we've been through that, and this is not our fate,
So let us not talk falsely now, the hour is getting late."
All along the watchtower, princes kept the view
While all the women came and went, barefoot servants, too.
Outside in the distance a wildcat did growl,
Two riders were approaching, the wind began to howl
So Ardently Kissing
(for Ms. Yossarian)
They lingered near the bushes
At the back of the building,
Avoiding the light
So that no one would see
How glazed his eyes were,
How big his heart was,
When he held her for the first time.
Not to mention
That the new lovers
Didn’t wish to be seen by strangers
To be so ardently kissing,
So wildly deep-tongue kissing,
That they didn’t even know their own names.
rcs.
I have been at war with Bloglines, through which I usually get "notified" of new posts and often view the post. I seem to be losing the war with Bloglines; though they are free, they are now not very good (they used to be very good). I can no longer recognize a "notice" since the previous couple of notices about posts I have now read have not yet been deactivated. So I’m trying to retrain myself to check my list every day rather than wait for notifications and I’m trying to restrain myself from throwing rocks through Bloglines windows! So sad, buncha saps had a good thing going at one time.
Well, that’s my view. Is it possible that it’s just my computer doing this or has anyone else had this kind of problem? I’ve written Bloglines and heard their silly reply to unsubscribe and then re-subscribe to each web site. That worked for a little while, but each one went bad again within a day or two. I have (er, I used to have) too long a subscription list to do that every couple of days.
Now I’ve written them one more time and they want a list of all my subscription url’s so that they can investigate. If that’s what they needed, I wonder why they didn’t ask for that first? They may not want to send me on a wild goose chase, but they don’t care if they do, either! Goddamn drug pushers and Internet experts. Neither one cares if you live or die.
Where To Look When Things Get Bad
It would be hard to list all the places where cockroaches might reside, for they can live in all places except the most extreme of heat (blowtorch) or cold (outside at the South Pole) or in areas where there is extreme, constant, and complete activity. I don’t even know where this last location might be, I’m just conjecturing that there might be such a place and that roaches would not fare well there.
Once you begin to see roaches, you just have to learn what KIND of places to examine. Be a cockroach detective! Usually they are in some handful of predictable locations in the kitchen and bathroom, but if you live in an old or seldom-cleaned place full of spills and crumbs and dirt—such as the college rooms or apartments of some fraternity brothers who can’t be bothered with cleaning—the bugs could be Everywhere. German roaches especially like to be in tight locations; they like to feel surfaces close against them on all sides, such as in a crevice. Anywhere that two elements of constructions fail to completely meet could contain a cockroach of some size. It makes them feel safe. Let’s search those school boys’ living quarters—roaches may live and breed in the following locations (plus others). These items are especially suspicious if they’re in the kitchen or otherwise adjacent to food and drink areas:
1. backside and underside of refrigerator
2. backsides, undersides of storage racks.
3. bathroom crevices
4. behind and inside clocks
5. behind kitchen calendars
6. bottoms of chairs
7. computer
8. desk
9. electrical outlets
10. false bottoms in cabinets
11. hidden corners of closets
12. hollow legs of tables, appliances
13. in clothing stored out of sight
14. inside and under upholstered chairs
15. lamps
16. lighted beer or Coke decorations stolen from bars
17. molding of door frames, even closet doors
18. night stand
19. overlap of building materials (wood, metal, etc.)
20. pantry
21. radio
22. same for oven as for refrigerator
23. seldom-opened storage areas or boxes
24. shelves
25. stereo
26. storage areas where supply boxes are not “rotated”. You know, oldest materials are not used first, therefore the older materials are pushed to the back and thus have time to accumulate a roach family (or pantry pests).
27. toasters
28. towel storage
29. TV
30. under sink
31. underside of mattress or box springs
32. underside or back of bread box
33. wall crevices
34. you get the idea
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