Nasty Habits (Screaming Meme!)

Things I don't make a habit of, but have done:

1. Done a Paul Reubens in a porno movie theater (pre-video, pre-Internet), but didn't get arrested.
2. Removed my shirt on a public street. Totally out of character.
3. Had to pee so bad while driving home that I couldn't make it past my first step out onto my driveway before I...peed my pants. One time's enough.
4. Loosened a woman's blouse and bra in a romantic moment until she told me the moment wasn't romantic. My chagrin! She was very nice about it, though.
5. Made love to a life-sized self-portrait (art-work) of a nude woman. Not inflatable!
6. Stole books from a bookstore just because a friend of mine worked there and said, "Go ahead."
7. Stole money from someone who never knew it (and I wasn't a kid).
8. Borrowed and turned over some one's motorbike, but didn't tell them about the wreck. It wasn't hurt.
9. Violated a plump beautiful red-haired woman's watchband. It was the most intimate I could get with her at the time!
10. Betrayed a close friend, not only with his wife, but by telling him about it as if it would be good for him. That was debatable.

Just think, these are the things that I'm NOT too embarrassed to tell!

Things I don't much do, but may have, anyway:

1. Accompany the little children to the "potty".
2. Carve a turkey.
3. Fart in public and make a big deal about it. Like loudly blaming someone else--haw haw, I'm a clown.
4. Listen to Lawrence Welk.
5. Read a romance novel.
6. Tolerate dull people.
7. Shit in the woods (bad balance).
8. Drink the city water (my city, anyway).
9. Dust the house.
10. Sweep the driveway.

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