First Draft Poem #487

There I Was Again

There I was again, always wanting my way,
Fairly insistent on getting it, but ever subtle,
Barely ever showing my ass at the beginning,
But always on the lookout for that sea of blues
Seen from afar as if in mind already far astern
Or deeply drowned in my own self-delusions
Or sunk in the swells by my own top-heavy stately hats…

Oh, darling, I guess
I’ve gotten older and quicker on the gun.
I was at ease and you were talking nonstop
About freedom and love and the endless exercise of peace.
You were lovely, as lovely as any, and it broke my heart
That you talked and talked, and I could imagine you
Easily on a green mountain-top with a view of even greener trees,
And you were finally quiet there, but I couldn’t see me there.
In the old days, I would have started smoking cigarettes
And looking worried about rain, autumnal bugs, and late supper,
Not knowing how to say I was just waiting for you to shut up.

rcs.
2nd draft: 02/20/07
©2007 Ronald C. Southern

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