Fixing To Die

Seems like all I think about is my blood sugar and my tree trash these days. Well, guilty as charged, I can’t help it. I’m not living any Hollywood life here lately. I don't even have cable TV! I'm living in the dark ages.

All this elaborate procedure for taking my blood sugar is wearing on me. I wash my face. I put 3 different drops in my eyes. I turn on all the overhead lights. I set a 2-bulb lamp on the table near me. Now can I see?!

But I am becoming more and more prepared. The glucose meter comes in its own soft case, capable of carrying the device, a few alcohol swabs, several lancets for puncturing the finger and getting blood drops, but not much else. I’ve taken now to carrying everything in a larger bag I used to use for shaving gear, etc. when travelling. It’s big enough to hold the magnifying glass, the empty used water bottle in which I dispose of the lancets and test strips. I don’t like to let those disposable items get out of my control for even one second since my sister’s grandbaby visits here and you know how curious babies are. The “guards” on the lancets look like little pills or candy and the lancets themselves are not plelasant things to encounter by accident, but probably look like toys to a baby boy. The “dop kit” bag also carries one spare “drum” of test strips so that I can reload without going to another room for supplies. Also a washcloth in case I need to fold it up to support the meter at the correct angle for making contact between the blood drop and the test strip. I am getting to where I am as prepared and well-supplied with paraphernalia as any junkie fixing to die ever was! It may not be fun, but boy am I prepared for it! I have all kinds of drops to clear my eyes for better vision during the “test”. Unfortunately, iit’s a tossup whether I see clearly or not; sometimes it works the first time and sometimes I miss the mark. If I screw up, that means I get to re-stab myself a time or two, maybe waste an expensive test strip. I’m too nervous for this shit, but it’s not an option at present.

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