Mumbruddy Brang Hat

"Ah woosh mumbruddy brang ag at!" the drunk cowboy muttered after he ate.

"What you say, you drunk fool?" the woman asked. It had all been a big slur to her.

"I wish somebody brang me mah hat!" the drunk cowboy repeated louder, but only a little more clearly. "I jus' ain't comf'able 'thout it!"

Buck sat woozily at the kitchen table and belched, watching his brother's wife Betty give him a dirty look as she brought him the hat. As soon as he had it on his head, he leaned forward and passed out with his face in the almost-empty chili bowl.

"That's disgustin'," the woman sighed.

"You knew he was disgustin' when I brung him in here!" her husband Willie said affably as he returned from the bathroom and sat down opposite his brother.

"You gonna just leave Buck there with his face in the chili?" she asked.

"Always have," Willie grinned.

"Hell of a way to treat a brother," Betty said.

"What'd'yew care?"

"He ain't my brother. You the one should care."

"Yay-ah, what's up, bro?" Buck exclaimed, sitting up suddenly as if fully awake. He stared around the room as if he thought there was something he could fix in it.

"Not much," Willie laughed.

"Hey, speak up!" Buck said indignantly. "I can't hear you!"

"You got cracker crumbs in one ear—that got anythin' to do with it?"

"I got whut?" Buck inquired listlessly. "I can't hear you too good!"

"You fool!" Betty hollered, "you got—!"

But then she saw he already had his cheek very comfortably planted in the bowl again. This time he was snoring loudly and looked long gone.

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