Saturday, December 08, 2007

Windows And Doors

Hi, it's me! A pretty hard thing to do after all these decades!

Maybe we can grind some bones down to dust and store them in a nice new box with a tight lid. Better than those damn vases--it's too difficult to even pronounce "vase" correctly, don't you think? But what is correctly? I don't have to do it here...

Today I told myself I'd have to stop eating so many damn cookies because my pants are too tight. Really too tight. Today I got one of the few size 38's out of the closet and they fit, unfortunately. Those pants will make it more difficult to lose the few pounds I need to shed in order to fit size 36 again. I need to do this. You have to remember I was size 42 not so long ago and it makes me feel crazy the idea that I'd "grow" back into all my worn-out fat man's clothes! Don't let it happen! Send lawyers, guns, and money! No, not the money! I'd just buy sugar-free (but not calorie-free) cookies with it! Wait a minute! If somebody'd send even more money, maybe I could go buy new larger pants and just get more and more fat to fill them out! Civilization started deteriorating this way, I guess...

"Cancel my subscription to the Resurrection;
Send my credentials to the house of detention,
I got some friends inside..." the doors

More about The Doors later.

6 comments:

  1. I remember so much talk about you going skinny.

    I like a little meat on my man.

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  2. Well, Mr. Size 36 Pants HAS a little meat on his bones, and any more just makes me not fit the pants! Actually some of them still fit, but I need to read the writing on the wall and stop eating seconds (or thirds and fourths, when it comes to cookies)!

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  3. Cookies are my downfall, too! I.can.not.stop.

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  4. If we were Bolsheviks, we'd ban cookies and kill the bakers and the farmers! That'd settle it! But, fortunately, Lenin and Stalin are dead!

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  5. Dr. Debbie prescribes more hand jobs and fewer cookies. Even if you have to rely on Rosy Palm to fill the prescription.

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  6. Were you not so distant, I'd hold you to that handjob! Meanwhile, back at the I-Love-Lucy ranch-house saloon, they find it pretty much dull conversation.

    Abandon hope, all ye who enter here!

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Abandon hope, all ye who enter here! (At least put on your socks and pants.)