Monday, March 24, 2008

When Rats Rut

Rats Rule

We get as goofy and swaggering as anyone else when we screw, except that part about chewing the electrical wiring in your house and causing a fire. Besides, we do that anyway. We have to keep gnawing at things or our teeth may grow through the top of our skulls! You wouldn't like that--that's a bloody fucking mess! And if I'm messed up, the first thing I do is to go shit in somebody's stupid breakfast cereal!

("Oh, those are just raisins, son!")

Yeah, sure, Mom.


  1. But mom, are they supposed to be crunchy!?

  2. What mamma never told us: Shit happens.

  3. Well, maybe in your case, they were just roach droppings. The American and Smokey Brown coachroaches have pretty large pellets. I carefully close up all my cereal boxes and use a clothes pin, too, ever since I saw a bigass roach crawl out of one when it was the only cereal left in the house! I ate it, but goddamn, I'm not giving them another chance!


Abandon hope, all ye who enter here! (At least put on your socks and pants.)