Friday, March 21, 2008

Don't Step On My Damn Fedora!

Lame Excuses

I like my hat more than my hair these days. I guess that’s mostly a sign of age, though it could be just a new style of being. Might as well “be”, though, since my hat hides my hair and I wear one hat or another nearly all the time, indoors or outdoors. It’s fucking weird, as we used to say—or was that just me? I never learned to stop cussing, though all my other vices have deserted me. I am so "clean" that it's disgusting, if you can overlook the vile and violent language. I suppose some of you may prefer whiskey, beer, and tobacco, but I always resented the money that had to spent on that. But, for that matter these days, I resent the money for movies, books, and eating at restaurants, so I watch free TV, use the local library, and make lame excuses everywhere I go.

Anyway, my hair is almost short, compared to former years; I cut it myself, and that's the reason that I don't wear it even shorter. If I could find a tool that would let me cut it short, but not a "flat top" or whatever it was that I used to wear as a kid (and wasted good money to pay barbers for such a bunch of nothing!). Maybe I could find a way to cut it as short as the Godfather's in the third movie installment of that endless saga. It seems to me, at least, that if I try to cut my hair shorter than I've been doing, I might gouge myself or at least do a bad job. So, for the moment, I'm stuck. If I screw around and delay it long enough, my naturally receding hairline will take over and finish me off. I won't have to think about it then, I guess.


  1. Me...I set my beard trimmer to about 1/4", stand on the deck in the wind, and trim everything and let the wind and birdies carry it away! It sets you free!

  2. I have considered that sort of option, but the last haircut I gave myself looked pretty good and ruined the head of steam I was building up! So I guess I'll waffle and delay some more for now...

  3. I just pay the barber. I know, such a waste of money!

  4. Well, if the barbers didn't charge so DAMN MUCH. It's as costly as damn movie tickets. Maybe soon I'll be comparing it to gasoline prices, though, and then the barber money will seem like fuckin' nuthin'!


Abandon hope, all ye who enter here! (At least put on your socks and pants.)