Pissed On By Planet Earth

For The Last Time This Year, I Hope

I dug the hole out again. It was easier than the first time (no roots this time), but still not easy. After about an hour, I spotted the hose repair, but couldn’t see any leak since there was no pressure and almost no water in the system. My grown nephew happened by and gave me a hand. We turned on the pump and spotted the leak. One of the hose clamps wasn’t tight enough. We turned off the pump. Since he was stronger than me, I gave him a shot at tightening the clamp. At first we thought he hadn’t quite gotten it, but when he left I noticed that the “continuing leak” was a trick of the eye or something. My nephew was a better repairman than he knew. Very good.

Now I’ve packed the dirt down at the bottom of the hole where possible, not yet filling the hole. I’ve slipped some pieces of 2x4 board in underneath, hoping to support and hold the hose steady when I put the dirt back in later. I’ve covered the hole with some boards and a piece of tin and will check if the repair stays good for the next couple of days. I sure don’t want to cover it up good only to have to dig it out again! I hate this shit. If you’re a perpetual virgin like Loretta Young, then get out of here—hurry now!—because I just Fucking Hate This Shit!

Dear Lord, just let me have water to flush with! Let me have a few gallons for the grass! All else can go to hell, I don’t care. You know I don’t, Lord! Thank you very much.

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