Saturday, January 01, 2005

Taking Down The Holiday Decorations

Big Deals

Well, it’s true that I make a big deal out of a lot of small things, usually things that I do very clumsily. That’s partly because I am actually very interestingly incompetent, but also just to have something to blog about. When I’m surfing other blogs that I don’t know, I sometimes run across bloggers who bizarrely make claims that I consider contradictory. They say that they’re often entertaining a dozen or more blog ideas at any given moment and at the same time they’re threatening to quit the enterprise altogether. I think some people just talk to hear their teeth click and their tongues clack. Oops, that sounds familiar, doesn't it? I, however, do run out of ideas at least eight days a week. It's not that the outdoor Christmas decorations are worthy of blogging about today—I’m just that desperate. I didn't put them up until the last minute, 7-10 days before Christmas, so I hope you'll understand my leaving them up until the last possible minute.

I don’t put out many outdoor Christmas ornaments (Santa and Frosty and candy canes and lollipops) and I have only the bare minimum of lights (a couple of wreaths with multi-colored lights and a white-lighted angel). Still it takes a while to take them down, pull them up, twist them loose, unplug them, wrap them in trash bags, and stash them away. Yesterday, the last day of December, I finished all this while my nephew’s seven-month-old son was here for a visit. So then I was having great fun making noises and funny faces with John when I suddenly missed my glasses. I had no idea where I'd left them and began the search. I searched the house. I searched the study out here where this computer is located. I searched the entire yard—both where I’d taken down the decorations and everywhere that I’d walked. I searched it all twice, very slowly, so as not to step on my glasses. There’s so many twigs and leaves on the ground right now, the ground was practically camouflaged. I kept waiting for a certain kind of crunching sound of glass and plastic that never came. Thank you, thank you!

It finally dawned on me that I had not searched the box where the ornaments were now stashed, not even once. Of course, I had been avoiding doing that, because I just didn’t want to have to unpack the box and all that was in it! I didn’t have to do much, though, for I spotted the glasses the instant I opened the cardboard box. Yippee, I’m a damn fool!

What’s Going On, Anyway?

My glasses never used to slip out of my shirt pockets at all, much less this often. I don’t understand what could have changed to that degree. Maybe I could blame it on my pockets being looser, except that I haven’t loss that much weight. Is my posture now that much different? I can deny the weight loss, but not the ageing. Well, whatever it is, every time I bend over these days, my glasses slide out unless I keep my hand on that pocket. Just another utterly senseless aggravation on the highway of life.

Everybody’s babbling about the new year (it’s here, Kablooey, Kablam!), but I am not sanguine about all this. I’m certain that my glasses will slide out again by tomorrow, if not today. Sadly, I have to wonder—will I even notice it when it happens? Am I brain-damaged yet? I think I am. Does it show? Shit, yeah. What’s so different about this New Year, I ask you?

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Abandon hope, all ye who enter here! (At least put on your socks and pants.)