Demolition Derby And The Nobel Peace Prize

I noticed today one of those in-town highway signs that says 45-65. In Texas, that's telling you don’t go faster than 65 or slower than 45. I’m a person who believes in going the speed limit these days, although it isn't very safe to do. I used to drive different when I was 40, 30, or 20, but now I don’t speed very much. I wouldn’t mind if the freeway speed was 45, 55, 65, or higher, but I can’t see any way that it’s likely to be safe to have cars driving that range of speeds together in one place. Whichever way you express it, I don’t think it safe, goddammit, to have slow cars poking along while fast ones continue to race for Hell. That 20-mph speed difference makes a world of difference. Besides, everybody in Texas (maybe everybody in America) likes to stretch any speed limit they’ve ever heard of at least 10 mph.

I don’t mind driving fast and I don’t mind driving slow, but I wish that highway planners would get it straight that you can’t set the speed limit like that; that's too much choice! You can’t mix people who think that 45mph means 35 is probably okay with people who think if 65 isn't too fast, 75 is probably okay, too. How do they all think they’re okay! People are making it a dangerous world, either trying to drive their cars as slow as Christmas or else straight and fast and smooth right up one another’s posteriors while I shiver in my boots and scrunch my buttocks and dream of shooting the sons of bitches in the face with a handgun! I don’t have a handgun, but that’s probably in the best interest of all concerned. I’d hate to go to jail for killing worthless morons when I should get the Nobel Peace prize for it!

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