Monday, January 03, 2005

New Monitor!

I Had A Smaller One, But Now It's So Beeg!

I got a new used 17" monitor from my favorite nephew Gary (uh, my only nephew). He said he'd only recently remembered having it tucked away in his storage room. Hot damn! My 14" one died some weeks ago, and the 13" one I'd acquired to make do with, was really getting hard to make do with! Somewhere in the size change between 13 and 14, conversions and whatever else adjustments you might name ceased to be smooth. In Blogger, Yahoo Email, and most other Internet sites, I had to mouse-skitter my cursor all over, left to right and top to bottom to reach all the necessary buttons. The buttons worked okay, but it took a lot of maneuvering to turn things on and off, to save, to toggle from Edit mode or back into Preview mode. Instead of "Click! ", nearly everything became "Move cursor north-south, move cursor east-west, Click! " Microsoft Word documents also looked screwy on a 13" screen. I was slowly training myself to become familiar with something that was never common and that, like dinosaurs, will probably never be seen again.

In fact, with moving up to a 17" monitor, not just returning to the old 14", I've seen Whole Screens of info or images that I've never seen all at once except at other people's houses or the local library! What luxury! As Diana Canova, who played Corrine Tate in TV's "Soap", once gasped (in a very bad Hollywood movie about making porno movies), "It's so beeg! It's just so beeg!"

[The above scene was so funny that I always felt it was at least a close runner-up to Caddy Shack's "floating Baby Ruth in the swimming pool" scene.]

The screen is so much in my face now that it's like looking King Kong right in the eye. At present, I'm typing with both arms stretched out straight so as be able to sit further back and not feel like I'm counting the gorilla's nose hairs! I'll get used to it, maybe.

Maybe I'll adjust my computer table that was built more than ten years ago when most monitors were apparently not this large. I just have to stop having fun looking at this big gorgeous screen long enough to make some elbow room, make a few carpenter cuts, and slide this taller monitor the rest of the way into the prefabricated space.

I wonder when that will be? Shit, who cares?

If you hear an insanely loud Ye-ha! coming out of Texas, that might be me. If you also hear someone panting, then it's definitely me. These are not things I usually do, but I just replaced the worst monitor I ever had with the best monitor I've ever had! Ye-ha!


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