note to the ultra-rich

Note to people with get-rich-quick schemes: Listen, here's a dime. Just keep begging until you have a quarter, then phone a lawyer and he'll help you steal a million bucks that you don't deserve and then you won't have to worry about trash like us any more. Do that enough times and maybe you can sit around and shoot the breeze about the color of turds with your charming proctologist friend Donald Trump.