Tuesday, April 06, 2010

College Girls

(Strange Tales #12)

Right now I’m afraid
I’ve murdered some college girls
Before I went to sleep last night.
It seems like that’s what I remember. They were
All alone and studying half-nude in their rooms,
All sweet and pure, you know the way they are.

Surely I would know it
If I’d killed them, you say,
But that’s how the cops always think.
Sometimes that’s why they’re so slow to apprehend.

I think I started with a rotund young blonde
Who was robust and busty, both!
Something delicious to tell your pals,
If I had any pals to tell, I mean.
She shouldn’t have opened the door like that
To just anyone who hollered “Pizza, Miss!” in a bored tone.

It worked just as well, though, on the next two dolls
Who were brunettes and very slim. I guess
They thought they could afford the calories,
They just couldn’t afford to meet me!

They cracked the door and peeked out and saw me
Fumbling with the empty pizza box
And a couple of dollar bills and change
That I’d swiped from blondie’s desk.

I imagine they’re telling somebody in hell right now
How they thought the pizza guy looked okay!
Don’t any of these girls in the dorms ever know
If they did or didn’t order Delivery?

Oh, well, murder’s my game
And I take it rather seriously.
I used to play board games and canasta
With the same relentless intention in my youth.


Current draft: 4/4/2010
Created on 4/2/2010 7:18 PM

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Abandon hope, all ye who enter here! (At least put on your socks and pants.)