Evil Pirate

It’s always been hard for me to wake up in the morning.

Now one of my first tasks or duties is to take my blood sugar reading in the morning before I eat breakfast. This involves using a needle or “lancet” to prick my finger (any finger) and produce a drop of blood for the test strip in my glucose meter to read. There's a convenient device for this, but not an effortless one. If I don’t get a big enough drop of blood or if I’m so clumsy that I don’t apply the drop to the test strip correctly, I’ll have to do some or all the procedure all over again. It’s no fun to prick your fingers 2 or 3 times the same morning. One has to be a little coordinated, which I am not, not that early. It’s also no fun to waste test strips, for they’re nearly a dollar each.

I was clumsy to start with, but these days my vision is unclear too due to cataracts and so on. So I am a major fuckup in the mornings and only a little less so in the evening when I take it. I guess I need to get up an hour or two earlier than I do so that I can piss away a lot of time on waking up before breakfast. It’s strange how difficult it is to break an old habit or start a new one. But I’ll have to do something because I cuss like an evil pirate and am not even in favor of Jesus Christ Almighty on Earth when the blood sugar testing process goes awry.

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