Tuesday, January 04, 2005

I Want More!

But Not More Dog-And-Pony Stuff

What I keep hoping for is that I'll get more blog readers, more commenters, more emailers, but it's not what I generally get. I know I have a handful of readers, judging by the Site Meter traffic and the comments. I always wonder, though, if there's another handful of people that I just never hear from because they're shy. What kind of behavior would that be, I ask you?!

I wish sometimes that the best of my readers would inform me when I've written something very Good. I wish too that some of them would write me about it when I've written something that is very Bad. What Glows and what Stinks! But that doesn't happen much. Sometimes blogging is like pissing into the wind—they might put you into the Guinness book of world records, but you still won't be very famous or admired just for pissing. There's not even any dogs that are famous for that!

Doggie Habits

As it is, I have the constant guilty sensation that I am consistently mediocre! Not too bad and not too good. Is that a thing to aspire to? Is that a thing to work so hard about? How long can I sustain it? I think a person should just run away when there's this much confusion! Tail between my legs! Arf, arf! I guess I have greater aspiration than inspiration. And not enough patience for anything. Have I mentioned lately that I'm neurotic and manipulative and unappreciative? I sometimes get good emails and comments that I don't sufficiently embrace or praise. I need to curb that hangdog habit. I may have to take myself out in the woods, with or without a pony, and shoot myself in the leg before it's all over. SAY, I could just SAY I did and then don't, couldn't I! Don't mention this to anyone. I may want to use it later. It ought to be good for a little undeserved sympathy, which I will have no qualms about taking.

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Abandon hope, all ye who enter here! (At least put on your socks and pants.)