Enemies

Oscar Wilde: "A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies."

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Blogger Book

For those interested in a book on the Blogger Experience, here's new one that I know nothing about: Blogger Book Take your chances.

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Ignorance

by Kasey Chambers

Don't wanna read the paper
I don't like bad news
Last night a man got shot
Outside the house of blues
I'd like to ignore it
I'd like to just pretend
That the reason for it
Is something I can comprehend

I don't listen to the radio
Last time it made me cry
Two boys went crazy
Fifteen kids died
And I don't know their families
I don't ask 'em how they're going
They're on the other side of the world
But it's way too close to home

I've got something to say
And I thought it might be worth a
mention
If you're not pissed off at the world
Then you're just not paying attention
And you can turn off the TV
And go about your day
But just 'cos you don't see it
It don't mean its gone away hey

We don't talk to our neighbours
They've got funny coloured skin
We see 'em out on the sidewalk
But we don't invite 'em in
We only eat when we're hungry
And we throw the rest away
While babies in Cambodia
Are starving everyday

We risk our lives
We hit our wives
We act like everything is funny
We hide our pain
While we go insane
We sell our souls for money
We curse our mums
We build our bombs
We make our children cry
We watch the band
While Vietnam
Just watch their children die

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Fine lyrics from a touching song.

More Absurdity

Samuel Johnson: "Almost all absurdity of conduct arises from the imitation of those whom we cannot resemble."

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Recognition

Thomas Mann: "No man remains quite what he was when he recognizes himself."

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Writers

T. S. Eliot: "Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers."

Yabba Dabba

Hello, Satan
sung to the tune of "Hello Walls)

Some devil in the corner of my eye asked this perplexing question of me the other day: What are 10 things that you’ve given up or left behind now that you’re where you are?

My answers:

1. Smoking
2. Eating sugar (much)
3. Drinking Cokes and other carbonated drinks
4. Size 42 pants.
5. All my clothing older than 8 months.
6. The love of a good woman (there’s too many bad ones).
7. Reading books that aren’t Large Print.
8. Going on long car rides.
9. Thinking that the Internet would constitute erotic or pornographic communications. (Just in the back of my mind.)
10. A spanking from a mild woman drinking strong beer while she also… Well, we’ll see.

That makes 10 and I’m now through with that devilish suggestion! Some of these things weren’t true. But I can’t tell you or it’d be telling the devil!

p.s.
11. Forgot the important ones: my best dog Grey, my father, my friend David, all dead now.

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Better Than Some

(Pot To The Rescue)

The other day someone mentioned that their brother smoked marijuana sometimes, and I realized I hadn’t thought of that in a long time. Not in any serious way at all. I don’t know why I never thought of it as a cure for my lack of appetite! For God’s sake, it used to be a mighty primary cause of Munchies and other food attacks!

I don’t know, though. I’m more afraid of the illegality these days than I ever was in the past. I have no concern at all about it being “dope”. I take prescription “dope” all the fucking time. I don’t really want to feel dopey but if it pot would have an effect on my appetite, that would be more than ever happened for me when I took the appetite pill a few months ago. It never did jackshit. I quit taking it to save the money. I used to smoke tiny amounts of pot by myself (in a hash pipe) at night and listen to music through the earphones. Before long, I had to get up and raid the refrigerator! Ah, those were some of the good old days! Stoned, and sitting around in my underwear eating cold God-knows-what out of the fridge with no one to make me feel embarrassed! With Cheetoes and Coca-Cola thrown in! Not the best life, but better than some!

Anyway, this got my mind to meandering and recalling things. I remember that visit to Stuart’s one evening getting stoned on his good pot, drinking his beer, having a pleasant visit with him and his sweet pretty girlfriend. Everything was cool until she went out of the room and he informed me he had stuff to do! I was hustled from his apartment with a full beer in my hand before I knew what was going on! By the time I got to my car, I knew what he was doing and it probably involved sex with that beautiful young woman. I would have been happy to leave, except I was so stoned. I wondered if I could drive, though.

I had the beer, but couldn’t drink it down fast and get rid of it for some reason. Maybe I’d already had too many. In any case, it was still in my lap when the policeman came up behind me and saw me make a left turn without giving a signal. He turned on his lights and siren. Mortified, terrified, I moved to the side of the road and stopped. I balanced the beer as far out of sight as it’d go while trying to not be conspicuous about my motions. A lot of good that’d do me if the police came up to investigate my car with a flashlight.

I got out of the car and went back to speak to the policeman. First thing was, he knew about the beer already. I guess I’d taken a sip in plain sight. I went into one of my best apologetic modes (in my twenties I could do it well!), all the time worrying about how stoned I was. I was so stoned that I was afraid the lid of grass in my jacket pocket was going to leap out and fall at the cop’s feet! Oh, did I forget to mention that I was carrying? It seemed to me that I was a Sure Bust waiting to happen! After speaking for a minute or two in My Best Apologetic Mode, the cop, never getting out of his car, waved me away. He said he could tell I wasn’t drunk, so he’d let me off with a warning. Verbal warning!

No, not drunk at all, just stoned out of my mind!

That’s when I discovered how unapparent one’s stoned behavior could be to straight people. I wasn’t Acting stoned, I just Was stoned. Go figure! I was grateful, exceedingly grateful to God. Thank you, God, for protecting my ass and my dope! After I stopped shaking, it was funny and I told the story a number of times in the years after. It was a good one.

But, being older now and no wiser, I wouldn’t have any pleasure in that kind of fright any more! Being stoned would be fun, but not being that afraid!

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Ugly Me

Christ, when will I ever again write a "regular" post, I wonder? Some people think I've been reduced to titty pictures and curley-fry famous quotes and ugly photos of my haircuts and hats and suchnot! Where are the real posts?! Hell if I know!

Lately I've been writing for my new blog, Most Frequent Blogger Questions (MFBQ). You can find the link in the sidebar's Blogger Help Links. Anyway, MFBQ is a derivative of my work in Blogger Help Group, something fed by the questions from the Help Group. Later my answers feed back into it because each daily or weekly new generation tends to ask some of the same questions. It's a cycle. In MFBQ, I now have answers ready. I can either copy and paste from the relevant post section or else just give it's Permalink in a reply to the questions! Nice. Easier for me by far, sometimes more informative for the questioner, I hope! Doesn't matter too much if it's easier for the questioner; he's too desparate to notice such minor things, anyway!

I don't know about this; my best posts are really more self-sufficient than this. This one depends on you knowing about Blogger Help Group and my own Most Freqent Blogger Questions. Test on Tuesday! Oops, this IS Tuesday. Better luck next time.

Happy whup-ass day

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!

Andre Gide: "Art is a collaboration between God and the artist, and the less the artist does the better."

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Buy On Price

John Ruskin: "There is scarcely anything in the world that some man cannot make a little worse, and sell a little more cheaply. The person who buys on price alone is this man's lawful prey."

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