I Don't Seem

A Renewed Squeak

I don't seem to want to read anybody these days, much less everybody. I force myself to click a link. I force myself to skim. Everybody's blog is about the same as before. I thought I should try some new blogs, but "Next Blog" keeps leading me to Spanish, French, and German sites that I REALLY can't read! (I don't mean to insult the rest of the planet, but I wish I could turn off those foreign languages and just limit myself to English. It's bad enough just deciphering the British and Australians. Anyway, new blogs haven't renewed my old zest. I could say you all bore me, but I suppose it'd be more honest to say I bore myself. My months of illness and of trying to fill out retirement papers and other documents are wearing me down. I again would like to buy some clothing that fits since I've shrunk smaller than the original smaller sizes that I bought. I'm slim, I'd like to look that way. Not wear baggy pant or shirts that fit like tents. But seeing the fate that's befallen all my first "smaller sizes", it's not so encouraging to buy more clothing to shrink out of!

I have lately gained 1 lb. and then later 2 lbs. I take that as encouraging, but I don't really know yet if that will stick to my bones or not. I need to stabilize my size just a little more before throwing good money after bad. I don't want to ever be an Extra Large again, but I'd also like to be sure if the shrinkage has ceased!

The damnation is, all the stuff that's genuinely fattening is also likely to push my blood sugar high, and a diabetic can't do that. Life ain't like it used to be. I just wish it'd be like Something and not a total guessing game. I've shrunk from size 42 pants to 40 and then 38 and now size 36 that Needs A Belt! I need a goddamn cure, folks! I don't want to disappear or to live as this disease.

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