Other People’s Vomit

The Car Cleanup

You’ve heard me mention my cousin JW, who lives near me. He and I are cousins on my mother’s side. He has another cousin on his mother’s side called JP. Back when we were in high school, JP and I sometimes worked at our uncle’s (JW’s dad) service station, though usually not at the same time—the station wasn’t that busy. But because of that connection, an opportunity came along to work together at a gas station which the franchisee had abandoned but which the company wanted to keep open. I don’t remember why. We ran the place without adult supervision and JP handled the books.

I do remember, though, that two guys came in and dropped off a car to be cleaned up. JP made a deal to wash and deodorize the puked-in car for about three times the regular price. He didn’t charge enough, though. That son of a bitch car had to be deodorized first just to be able to approach it and start cleaning. We sluiced and scrubbed and wiped 2 or 3 times, then deodorized again. Yes, we did use mops and a high-pressure water hose to the extent that it was feasible, but eventually we had to climb into the car. As far as I’m concerned, we wuz robbed and mistreated!

I never could imagine why the two guys had barfed in their nice car and rolled around in it to that extent. Why hadn’t they rolled out in the dirt instead of soaking the carpet and upholstery? You don’t have to clean up dirt—at any rate, nothing a shovel couldn’t handle, as if you were burying the dead. They left the car with us for half a day, and that’s about how long it took the two of us to clean it, in between the regular business of the gas station. The twenty bucks or so we got at the time was a lot, but not nearly enough! Be careful what you agree to, there may be a lot more vomit than you know.

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It's Saturday
And I don't care
If I do die, do die, do die!

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